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English Language Jokes

What is the longest word in the English language?

SMILES because there is a mile between the first and last letters!

Love
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What's the longest word in the English language?

A native Texan saying, "Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttttttt."

What is the longest sentence in the English language?

I do.

What are the two saddest words of the English Language?

What party '

What's the longest word in the English language?

Pupil: Smiles - because there is a mile between the first and last letters

What are the 5 most terrifying word in the English language?

Five more years of Cameron

What's the longest verb in the English language?

Smiles. There is a mile between the first and the last letter.

What word in the English language is always spelled incorrectly?

Incorrectly.

What is the most awesomely amazing word in the English language?

Anticlimactic

What did the verb say when the words have, has, and had were removed from the English language?

"Nobody's perfect!"

Which word is the longest in the English language?

Smiles - because there is a mile between the first and last letters

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Bird Jokes More Bird Jokes

What did all of the birds do to the bird that couldn't fly?

They ostrich-sized him

Why do birds live in nests?

Because they can't afford houses in this economy.

Military Jokes More Military Jokes

What does the scientist say when asked if Invisibility Cloak will be applicated by the military?

Yes, but you won't see it any time soon.

What's the fastest branch of the military?

The Marines. When they retire, they're corvettes.

Word Jokes More Word Jokes

What word allows you to take away two letters and get one?

Stone.

How do you pay for things in the Czech Republic?

Cash or Czech Edit: a word

Selfie Jokes More Selfie Jokes

Why is the iPhone 6 the coolest smart phone around?

Carry it around in your pocket for a while and it'll be on every selfie you take.

Where are the humans?

We left them" AL: Why "They didn't look anything like their selfies in rl"

Invent Jokes More Invent Jokes

How can we possibly improve this?

Man invents wheel of cheese* "Nailed it!"

Why did Beethoven never answer the doorbell?

They weren't invented yet.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

How do they tie things down on the space station?

They use astro knots.

What performance enhancing drugs do penguins use?

Polaroids

Social Medium Jokes More Social Medium Jokes

Why isn't the guy who wrote "Danger Zone" and the Saved by the Bell theme very active on social media?

He forgot his Loggins

Why don't they have phone books in China?

Because everyone uses the Internet to look up phone numbers or people don't have landlines anymore and cell phone numbers aren't listed in the phone book. Also people use social media to communicate and connect with people.

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What came first?

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face. The egg, looking a bit ticked off, grabs the sheet, rolls over and says... "Well, I guess we finally answered THAT question!"

Why do pro gamers get up at 1:37pm?

Because it's 13:37! I came up with this last night and have been waiting to post it until 1:37pm my time.