English Language Jokes

What is the longest word in the English language?

SMILES because there is a mile between the first and last letters!

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What does one call an undertaker that's been drafted into the Military?

A Corpseman. Painfully obvious, yet a terrible play on the English language, I know. It was something I came up with a few years ago, for some unknown reason.

What's the longest word in the English language?

A native Texan saying, "Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttttttt."

What is the longest sentence in the English language?

I do.

What are the two saddest words of the English Language?

What party '

Which came first... social media or dumb people?

AND which is worse... the overdoing of selfies OR not knowing how to use the English language

What's the longest word in the English language?

Pupil: Smiles - because there is a mile between the first and last letters

What are the 5 most terrifying word in the english language?

Five more years of Cameron

What's the longest verb in the English language?

Smiles. There is a mile between the first and the last letter.

What word in the English language is always spelled incorrectly?

Incorrectly.

What is the most awesomely amazing word in the English language?

Anticlimactic

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What did the verb say when the words have, has, and had were removed from the English language?

"Nobody's perfect!"

Which word is the longest in the English language?

Smiles - because there is a mile between the first and last letters

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American Jokes More American Jokes

What walks on two legs, but can't move forward?

Americans who voted for Hillary

What's the difference between Americans and yogurt?

If you leave yogurt alone for 200 years it'll grow a culture

Remove Jokes More Remove Jokes

Why was Hillary thrown out of a restaurant?

She trashed the bill. Alt punch line 1 (u/Causative): She demanded her own private server and tried to have her meals removed.

How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

We can see no need for uninstallation and have therefore made no provision for light bulbs to be removed.

Invent Jokes More Invent Jokes

Why is a toothbrush a "tooth" brush?

Cause it was invented in Alabama! Inspiration came from the comments(http://mobile.reuters.com/article/idUSKBN0GP1NS20140825 irpc=932)

Why did man invent the shipping cart?

To teach women how to stand on their hind legs.

Mile Jokes More Mile Jokes

What is the longest word?

Smiles... It has a mile between the two 'S's

Whats a mile long and has a thousand arms?

The train to Auschwitz. Some German guy i used to play Path of Exile with told it to me.

Smile Jokes More Smile Jokes

Why does Mona Lisa smiling?

The Mona Lisa is smiling because Chuck Norris let her live.

Why is stevie wonder always smiling?

No one's told him he's black.

Elevator Jokes More Elevator Jokes

Why do I tell jokes in elevators?

Because they're funny on many levels.

What's the difference between an elevator and a redditor?

An elevator has a GF

Speak Jokes More Speak Jokes

What did the horse say to the other horse?

Hay,I thought you knew horses couldn't speak!

Why do Mimes have no benefits?

Because they never speak up.

Word Jokes More Word Jokes

What does a blonde say when you asked her what the last two words of the national anthem are?

Play ball.

How many amateur masochists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one; But it takes a WHOLE E.R. room to extract it afterwards. Double joke! "whole... hole." it's a play on words