What's Irish and sits on a porch?

Pati 'O' Furniture

This joke may have profanity.

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What do you call a guy with no arms and not legs laying on a porch?

Matt

Who's there! Answer! Answer who?

Answer all over your porch! It's a mess out here!

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Why does nobody like to sit next to Elsa?

Coz...she "lets it go!"

What do you call a pig sitting on a hog?

Usually they prefer to be called "officer"

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What's the difference between Saint Patrick's Day and Martin Luther King Day?

Everyone wants to be Irish on Saint Patrick's Day.

Why are there only 239 beans in Irish stew?

Because one more, and it'd be too farty.