What's the best way to accelerate a Mac?

9.81 m/s2

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What's the best way to get a man to remember your anniversary?

Get married on his birthday.

What's the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair?

Cancer...

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What's the best way to accelerate a Mac?

9.81 m/s2

What type of objects do not accelerate, regardless of the force applied?

Letterhead and envelopes. No matter how hard you try, they remain stationery!

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What's the best way to accelerate a Mac?

9.81 m/s2

How do Jedis close their programs on a Mac?

They use Force quit.