Steve Jobs Jokes

What my iPhone and Steve Jobs have in common?

They are both dead...

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Why did Steve Jobs die too soon?

Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

What did Bill Gates say to Steve Jobs?

Your products are fruity.

Why did Steve Jobs decline chemotherapy?

Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

What's the Difference Between Steve Jobs and Bill Gates?

Bill Gates never got a Mac, but Steve Jobs got PC.

Why are Apple products popular with hipsters?

Steve Jobs went underground.

How did Steve Jobs die?

From PC

What do you get when Steve Jobs hires and fires a lot of people in six months?

An Apple turnover.

Why is Steve Jobs middle child unemployed?

Because he's always inbetween jobs.

Where did Steve Jobs and Bill Gates go to get a drink?

The Space Bar

What would Apple laptops be called if Steve Jobs had been Irish?

McBook Eyre

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How bad is the economy?

Twenty years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Today we have no cash, no hope and no jobs.

What's the final product Steve Jobs released?

The iDied

Why did Steve Jobs lose on the X Factor?

Because Sam sung better than him

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Hipster Jokes More Hipster Jokes

Why do hipsters never die?

Because everyone does that already.

What's the worst thing to say to a hipster?

You remind me of someone

Robb Stark Jokes More Robb Stark Jokes

What is Robb Stark's least favorite band?

The Fray

What is the similarity between Steve Job and Robb Stark?

They both died when they were really popular.

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

What do you call a woman that sets her bills on fire?

Bernadette.

Why did you leave your previous job?

ME: Because once they fire you they won't let you stay.

I Phone Jokes More I Phone Jokes

What's 6" long, bent to the left, and in the front of my pants??

My iPhone 6.

What my iPhone and Steve Jobs have in common?

They are both dead...

Month Jokes More Month Jokes

How was your trip to Israel?

This month they had Sukkot (the festival of tabernacles) It was pretty "in tents".

What month was King Kong born in?

Ape-ril

Irish Jokes More Irish Jokes

What's Irish and stays out on your deck?

Paddy O'furniture

What do you call the Irish guy who always brings flan to the potluck?

Shaun O'flanagan

Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

Why should I drink Mr. Pibb?

He didn't even finish grad school.

How's my baby girl?

Me: I'm moving back in. Mom: Your room is ready. Me: No, your uterus! Mom: Steph you drink too much

Sing Jokes More Sing Jokes

What chews on trees and sings?

Justin Beaver

Why can't dwarfs sing?

Because they can't reach the high notes. Bonus: how does dwarves communicate? Smalltalk.