What did you learn in school today Son: How to write Mother: What did you write?

Son: I don't know they haven't taught us how to read yet!

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Where is the English Channel?

Pupil: I don't know my TV doesn't pick it up

When I was a little boy I asked my mum 'how many is a couple?

She replied 'oh, two or three' Now I know why her marriage didn't last long

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

How is today Monday?

It was Friday only a few hours ago...

What date is it today?

2nd April. Ha!! April fool!

School Jokes More School Jokes

Where do hippos go to school?

The Hippocampus!

What's a skunk's favourite game in school?

Show and smell!

Read Jokes More Read Jokes

What kind of book did Frankenstein's monster like to read?

One with a cemetery plot.

What did Helen Keller say when she picked up a cheese grater?

That was the most violent book I've ever read..........

Learn Jokes More Learn Jokes

What did you learn in kindergarten today?

5-year-old: A doughnut would help me remember. Apparently she learned bribery.

What's an accordion good for?

Learning how to fold a map.

Mother Jokes More Mother Jokes

What is Britain's most popular newspaper amongst breastfeeding mothers?

The Daily Express.

What did the teenage boy who was jerking off in his room say when his mother called?

One second mom, I'm coming!

Write Jokes More Write Jokes

When can't a pencil write out a check?

When it's broke.

What kind of writing makes the most money?

Ransom notes.

Teach Jokes More Teach Jokes

Why did man invent the shipping cart?

To teach women how to stand on their hind legs.

Why did God invent shopping carts?

To teach women how to walk on their hind legs.