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What's updog?

Mom: Just waking you up for school, dog, what's up wit u Dad (from hallway): OWNED

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Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

Why Chinese vet never hungry?

Dog have rice.

How did the dog feel when he lost his flashlight?

Delighted.

Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

How about her mom?

Has she said anything

What's the difference between my bike and your mom?

Your dad doesn't watch when I ride my bike.

Wake Jokes More Wake Jokes

Why are you always tired, Dad?

My 3-year-old asked as she woke me from a nap by poking me in the eye.

What did they say about the guy who woke up and jerked off on his alarm clock every day?

He always came on time.

School Jokes More School Jokes

Where's the school for the blind?

It's hard to see.

What's the longest piece of furniture in the school?

The multiplication table.