What's updog?

Mom: Just waking you up for school, dog, what's up wit u Dad (from hallway): OWNED

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Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

How can you tell if someone got their dog from a shelter?

Don't worry, they'll let you know.

Why is the zoo calling us about a missing coyote?

ME: bleeding profusely So... not a dog

Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

How about her mom?

Has she said anything

What did one plant say to the other plant that was annoying him?

Please leaf me alone! Or I'll tell my mom, and you'll get in trouble.

Wake Jokes More Wake Jokes

Why don't bananas snore?

Because they don't want to wake up the rest of the bunch.

What did the Seven Dwarfs say when the prince woke up Snow White?

Welp.... I guess it's back to jerking off!

School Jokes More School Jokes

What is the most common phrase used in school?

Pupil: I don't know Teacher: Correct!

Where're we going?

Who the hell did I just drop off at school!