I Phone Jokes

What did Nokia's executives say when the iPhone launched?

We're Finnished.

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How many bites out of the new iPhone did Tim Cook take?

16, 32, 64, and 128

What my iPhone and Steve Jobs have in common?

They are both dead...

Why did the storm trooper return his iPhone?

Because it wasn't the droid he was looking for!

What does the pirates 5 trailer and the iPhone 7 have in common?

There's no jack

Why is Rose sad?

Because there is no Jack in iPhone 7.

What did Thin Lizzie do with his iPhone?

Jailbreak

What do my iPhone and my girlfriend have in common?

They both go off again two minutes later to remind me of the same thing.

Why can't a Samsung be disguised as an iPhone?

Because eventually, its cover would be blown.

Why did the iPhone 7 cross the road?

To buy another pair of AirPods.

Why are the new iPhones so skinny?

To match their hipster owners' jeans.

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What does Ukraine have in common with the iPhone 7?

They both suffered the loss of one very important port.

Why did I throw my phone out of my window?

Because I turned on airplane mode, and thought it would turn my Iphone into a plane...

Why is the iPhone 6 the coolest smart phone around?

Carry it around in your pocket for a while and it'll be on every selfie you take.

What's going to be thinner than the IPhone 8?

Apples ideas.

What kind of phone does The Flash use?

Not an iPhone because Apple doesn't support flash

What do the Scottish people call iPhone?

An AYE-Phone. (Joke brought to you by a 5 year old)

How do you know if your friend has an iPhone?

They tell you.

What do you get when you shove an iPhone into a blender?

Apple Sauce

What's the iPhone's favorite football team?

The Chargers.

What is the most common question asked by iPhone users?

Does anyone have a charger I could use

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Why did John Snow get an iPhone?

For the watch.

What's the common thing between Mercedes and iphone 6?

Mercedes Benz...

How is the iPhone 6 like /r/gonewild?

They both give you tightness in the pants.

What's considered an homemade gift in China?

An IPhone.

Why are you letting people touch your new born?

I don't let people touch my new iPhone

What's the difference between my Grandma and the FBI?

My Grandma can unlock an iphone.

Why didn't Rose get an iPhone 7?

She never let go, Jack.

What's 6 inches long hard, bent, and in my pants?

My iPhone 6

What has everyone been doing at Apple since the problems with the iPhone 6 started?

Looking for Jobs.

What did Samsung Galaxy S 5 say to the iPhone 6?

Get bent" I hope you guys like this joke. I just came up with it.

What's your cell phone?

IPhone. - No, I meant the number. - It's a 6. - No, to contact you. - I don't use it for that.

What did Apply say to the iPhone 7?

Hit the road, Jack.

Why should you always bring an iPhone to Mos Eisley Cantina?

Because droids can't get service.

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Bite Jokes More Bite Jokes

Which people do the burgers hate?

The ones who are always putting the bite on them!

Why was Luis Surez expelled from the rap contest?

Because he was biting.

Nokia Jokes More Nokia Jokes

What do you have if you don't have a Kia?

A Nokia.

What does it take to break a Nokia phone?

Microsoft.

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

What did Jesus say when he was nailed upon the cross?

Me! That hurts!

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a giraffe?

Elephantgiraffesin()

I Pad Jokes More I Pad Jokes

What do you get when you combine a Christmas tree with an iPad?

A pineapple

What do you get when you have barbie dolls standing in a line?

A barbie queue (BBQ)! Also, I made a quick sketch on my iPad. I found the genesis to this joke as a text note in my Evernote this morning, after what seemed like a night of free flow beers. Feel free to downvote me to oblivion.

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

What did the Swedish chef say to his girlfriend when he found out she was pregnant?

Abort - Bort - Bort!

What is the friend zone?

It's the space between girlfriend and girl friend.

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

What do 50 cent hot dogs have in common with lumber?

Two buy four.

Where does Kylie buy her kebabs?

From Jason's Doner Van. (Sorry, I'm guessing this one's only for the Aussies and Brits)

Blow Jokes More Blow Jokes

What do you get when you throw a grenade into a kitchen in France?

Linoleum blown apart

How do you write an essay that blows people away?

With lots of drafts

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

How does a Range Rover Evoque look after landing on it's roof?

Exactly the same.

What makes fish smell?

One fine morning in Eden, God was looking for Eve, but couldn't find them. God saw Adam and asked where Eve was? Adam replied, "She's down at the Ocean, taking a bath." "Damn," says God, "now all the fish will smell."