Why is everyone smiling at me today?

Checks fly* *no pants* Aaaah.

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Check Jokes More Check Jokes

Why do police officers sleep with two rocks near their bed?

With one he turns off the light, With the other he checks if the window is closed

Why were the racist oranges upset when they checked out the small phonebook of their new city?

Because it was mini apple list.

Fly Jokes More Fly Jokes

Why do seagulls fly over the sea and not the bay?

Because if they did they would be Bagels

What is a common question at lizards' fast food joints?

You want flies with that?

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

What did God say to the alcoholic spelling bee judge?

Define intervention." Came up with this today at work.

What would Marilyn Monroe be doing if she were alive today?

Clawing at the inside of her coffin.

Smile Jokes More Smile Jokes

What's a woman's best curve?

Her smile.

Why do Retirees smile all the time?

Because they can't hear a word you're saying!