Why is everyone smiling at me today?

Checks fly* *no pants* Aaaah.

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Check Jokes More Check Jokes

Why did Heisenberg remove the speedometer from his car?

So he would stop getting lost everything he checked it.

When can't a pencil write out a check?

When it's broke.

Fly Jokes More Fly Jokes

What did the fly say to the other fly?

Your man is open!

What did the pilot say when his plane wasn't flying?

Aw man, that's a drag.

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

What's the difference between the jokes I read today, and the jokes I read last week?

The posters

How is today Monday?

It was Friday only a few hours ago...

Smile Jokes More Smile Jokes

Why aren't you allowed to smile when taking your driver IDs?

Because you won't be smiling when the cops pull you over.

What do you call a happy prosecutor?

Smiles Edgeworth