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Why don't lobsters ever share anything?

Because they're shellfish

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Lobster Jokes More Lobster Jokes

Why do lobsters make bad lovers?

They're shellfish in bed.

What did the lobster say when he saw the mermaid?

Gotta lay off the sea-weed.

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How long do you need to know someone before sharing fries?

Because I'm about to introduce myself to the girl at the end of the bar.

What do you call Washington State after a long rain storm?

Washed a Ton State. I woke up with that joke in my head this morning. My brain is weird. Had to share it with someone.