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Why don't lobsters ever share anything?

Because they're shellfish

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Lobster Jokes More Lobster Jokes

What did the man say when the lobster gave him food poisoning?

I'm not letting you cook dinner again

What did the lobster do at the disco?

Pulled a muscle.

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Why Don't Lobsters Share?

Because they're shellfish.

Why was Edward unable to get out of Russia?

Because he was Snowd en! (according to my friends this joke has been around for awhile, but I hadn't seen it yet, and wanted to share the goof)