Why don't lobsters ever share anything?

Because they're shellfish

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What's worse than finding a lobster on your piano?

Finding crabs on your organ.

What's the difference between a lobster and an oriental woman run over by a steamroller?

One's a crustacean and the other a crushed Asian.

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Why is Sigma good at sharing?

Because he only ever takes sum of the numbers!

What do giraffes and humans share the same number of?

Testicles.