What did the messed up psychologist have for dinner?

Freud rice.

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Mess Jokes More Mess Jokes

What did Shakespeare say when his dog messed up the carpet?

Out, damned spot! Out, I say!"*

What does the lord say when the intern messes up?

God demi

Dinner Jokes More Dinner Jokes

What did the plate say to the fork?

Don't worry, the dinner's on me.

Why did the archaeologist ask a diamond out to dinner?

Because of his enthusiasm for Carbon-Dating.