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What veggies are the kids having with dinner?

Me: (Smacking the bottom of a ketchup bottle) Fresh Tomatoes...

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Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What are you up to?

Her: I'm making Chinese. Me: Cloning's unethical. Hahaha just kidding. Make me a math tutor.

What did the pirate say when he saw his kid lighting the ship on fire?

Arrr son!

Dinner Jokes More Dinner Jokes

What do you call a water fowl looking in a window?

Peking duck. (it came to mind over dinner... I thought I would share the pain with everyone)

What do you call it when one piece of coal asks another piece of coal out to dinner?

Carbon dating.

Veggie Jokes More Veggie Jokes

What veggies are the kids having with dinner?

Me: (Smacking the bottom of a ketchup bottle) Fresh Tomatoes...

What did the veggies say, as they sat down for supper?

Lettuce, pray.

Smack Jokes More Smack Jokes

How does a blonde high-5?

She smacks herself in the forehead.

What did the rude prism say to the light beam that smacked into him?

Get bent!