Stomach Jokes

What did the policeman say to his stomach?

Your under a vest

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What did the police officer say to his stomach?

I've got you under a vest.

Why ebola medicine doesn't work in Africa?

Because it can't be taken on empty stomach

What did the chick pea say when it got a stomach ache?

I falafel.

Why do cows never walk out of horror movies?

They're able to stomach a lot.

What did the food say to the other food, while inside a stomach?

I won't digest yet.

Why was the lions stomach enormous?

Because he finally swallowed his pride

What does an egg say when it gets punched in the stomach?

Oeuf!

How do you get your stomach pumped?

Swallow a speaker playing "Remember the Name"

Why can't ethiopians take med pills?

Cause they can't take 'em with empty stomach.

How do you get out of the stomach of an elephant?

Run around until you get pooped out

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What do you call a bison that's sick to his stomach?

A barffalo

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Why do people paint eggs for Easter?

Bunnies squirm too much.

What do you call an egg that is neither good nor bad?

Mediyolkre.

9 Month Jokes More 9 Month Jokes

What do you do in 5 minutes that you then suffer for for 9 months?

A school application.

What did the pregnant orange see after 9 months?

The fruits of her labor.

Sausage Jokes More Sausage Jokes

What happened when the sausage came in first?

An announcer said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we have a wiener!"

What did the sausage say when it couldn't log on to the Internet?

If at first you don't succeed Fry Fry again

Oeuf Jokes More Oeuf Jokes

How many eggs does a Frenchman need?

One, because that's an Oeuf.

What did the chicken say after laying an egg?

Oeuf!

Milk Jokes More Milk Jokes

Why Can't you see the bacteria in milk?

Because it gets past-your-eyes (pasteurized)

What's the difference between a cow and the Twin Towers?

You can't milk a cow for 15 years.

Cannibal Jokes More Cannibal Jokes

What's the first thing a cannibal does in the morning?

Grab a cup of joe.

What happens to the cannibal who is late to the party?

He gets the cold shoulder.

Disagree Jokes More Disagree Jokes

What does Melania disagree with Donald on?

Anchor babes.

What do you call someone who is always disagreeing with their calculator?

A chronic math debater

Swallow Jokes More Swallow Jokes

What's the difference between spit and swallow?

A firm grip on the back of her head.

What is a monster's favourite game?

Swallow the leader.