Stomach Jokes

What did the policeman say to his stomach?

Your under a vest

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What did the police officer say to his stomach?

I've got you under a vest.

Why ebola medicine doesn't work in Africa?

Because it can't be taken on empty stomach

What did the chick pea say when it got a stomach ache?

I falafel.

Why do cows never walk out of horror movies?

They're able to stomach a lot.

What did the food say to the other food, while inside a stomach?

I won't digest yet.

Why was the lions stomach enormous?

Because he finally swallowed his pride

What does an egg say when it gets punched in the stomach?

Oeuf!

How do you get your stomach pumped?

Swallow a speaker playing "Remember the Name"

How do you get out of the stomach of an elephant?

Run around until you get pooped out

What do you call a bison that's sick to his stomach?

A barffalo

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Vest Jokes More Vest Jokes

Why did the alligator wear a vest?

He was an investigator!

What do you call an alligator in a vest?

An in-vest-igator!

Fill Jokes More Fill Jokes

What smells of cheese and is filled with holes?

About 100 French people right now

Why is there no 'Hot girls' guide to getting laid'?

My phone number won't fill up an entire book.

9 Month Jokes More 9 Month Jokes

What did the pregnant orange see after 9 months?

The fruits of her labor.

What do you do in 5 minutes that you then suffer for for 9 months?

A school application.

Deer Jokes More Deer Jokes

What do you call a deer that can't see?

No eye deer. Say it fast and with a southern accent for full effect.

What did the deer say when the sportsman asked if he wanted to go hunting?

I'm game.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why does an actor enjoy his work so much?

Because it's all play.

Why is Instagram not working?

But "Why does the world need another picture of you " #instagramnotworking

Escape Jokes More Escape Jokes

How did Godzilla escape the trains?

He threw them off their tracks.

How did "El Chapo" escape prison?

Joaquin.

Sausage Jokes More Sausage Jokes

What did the critic think of German food?

Their sausages are the wurst.

What happened when the sausage came in first?

An announcer said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we have a wiener!"

Lion Jokes More Lion Jokes

Why don't the zebra and the lion like to play cards in the prairie?

CAUSE THERE'S TOO MANY CHEETAHS!!!

What do you call a deceptive feline?

A lion. Get it guys lol? Lion Lying I'll pounce myself out now...