Why do they thank me in the cafeteria when I pay for my food like I had a choice?

Just tell me "enjoy the diarrhea" and I'll move along.

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Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

What's a caterpillar afraid of?

A dogerpillar (Thank you Laffy Taffy for the worst best joke I've ever heard)

What did the snake say when he was offered a piece of cheese for dinner?

Thank you I'll just have a slither.

Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

Why do we need to go to college?

Student: Why do we need to go to college? Teacher: So we can get a high paying job Student: Why do we need a high paying job Teacher: So we can get lots of money Student: Why do we need lots of money Teacher: So we can pay off our college loans

Why do Redditors pay with exact change?

They can't stand a Nickleback!

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What did I tell you about telling the truth?

5-year-old: It's only for people who don't have lawyers.

How do you convince America to join a war?

Tell them its almost over

Enjoy Jokes More Enjoy Jokes

Why doesn't Jesus enjoy manicures or pedicures?

Because they always try to mess with his nails.

What do you tell someone who doesn't like Depeche Mode?

Enjoy the silence.

Choice Jokes More Choice Jokes

What is a Norweigan's compact car of choice?

A Fjord Fjocus.

What is the chupacabra's breakfast of choice?

Goatmeal.

Food Jokes More Food Jokes

What do Asgardians use to keep food hot?

A Thormos.

What does Pikachu say when he puts too much salsa on his food?

PIKA PIKA PIKA (Credit to my 5 year old son)

Diarrhea Jokes More Diarrhea Jokes

What animal has two gray feet and two brown feet?

An elephant with diarrhea.

What's faster, the speed of thought or the speed of light?

Neither, it's diarrhea. Before you could think about it or even turn the lights on, you've already shat yourself.