Why do they thank me in the cafeteria when I pay for my food like I had a choice?

Just tell me "enjoy the diarrhea" and I'll move along.

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Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

What's the sound of a one-handed corpse clapping?

Dead silence. What's the sound of a one-handed zombie clapping? Undead silence. Thanks to my gaming group for those.

When I bring you breakfast in bed, why can't you just say "thank you"?

Instead of all this "how did you get in to my house " calling 9-11 business.

Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

How much did the Cubs pay the devil to win the World Series?

2016

Why is someone who borrows money but does not pay it all back like a football player?

Because sometimes he gives you a quarter back and sometimes a half back.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What did Mario tell his girlfriend when he broke up with her?

It's not a you, it's a me, Mario!

Why am I here?

Devil: You told people you'd say hi to other people 3,789 times but only did it 4 times. Me: OK that's fair.

Enjoy Jokes More Enjoy Jokes

Why does an actor enjoy his work so much?

Because it's all play.

Why did Carrie Fisher enjoy doing her one-woman show?

Because she nailed that Solo.

Choice Jokes More Choice Jokes

When you have the choice between cleaning the bath or doing some sport... which series do you watch?

D

Why do they thank me in the cafeteria when I pay for my food like I had a choice?

Just tell me "enjoy the diarrhea" and I'll move along.

Food Jokes More Food Jokes

Why does no one buy food for a platypus?

They always have a big bill!

Where we going?

Will there be food Why do I have to die Why didn't you like my last pic..

Diarrhea Jokes More Diarrhea Jokes

What did the sprinter with diarrhea do during the race?

He activated his bo...

What do you call a fish with diarrhea?

A Pooper Grouper!!!!!