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Why do they thank me in the cafeteria when I pay for my food like I had a choice?

Just tell me "enjoy the diarrhea" and I'll move along.

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Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

What is the car that everyone sleeps in?

The Ford Siesta Many thanks to for that one.

What's the difference between a singer-songwriter and a puppy?

A puppy eventually grows up and stops whining. Thanks to PuddinHead742 for this one.

Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

Why do they thank me in the cafeteria when I pay for my food like I had a choice?

Just tell me "enjoy the diarrhea" and I'll move along.

Why do vultures hate flying?

Because they have to pay extra for Carrion! Budum tsssss

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What are the 2 rules of success?

No1: Don't tell everything you know.

What' the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

Anyone can roast beef, but not everyone can pea soup. (As told by my 8yo, who made me laugh with a joke for the first time. Proud dad moment.)

Enjoy Jokes More Enjoy Jokes

Why do the rich enjoy tending to their gardens?

Because the they have an excuse to buy hose

What kind of cake did Noah enjoy?

Mabul cake.

Choice Jokes More Choice Jokes

What is a ducks drug of choice?

Quack.

What is a chefs weapon of choice?

A salt rifle

Food Jokes More Food Jokes

Why is the food so cold and bland?

Dad: Because your mother put her heart and soul into it.

Why do they thank me in the cafeteria when I pay for my food like I had a choice?

Just tell me "enjoy the diarrhea" and I'll move along.

Diarrhea Jokes More Diarrhea Jokes

Where does a toilet keep his secrets?

In his diarrhea.

What does a vampire call a hemophiliac?

Diarrhea.