Why do they thank me in the cafeteria when I pay for my food like I had a choice?

Just tell me "enjoy the diarrhea" and I'll move along.

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Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

What did the man who survived a javelin headwound say to his opponent?

Thanks for opening my mind.

What did your husband say?

He said 'Thank you'.

Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

Why won't the Alzheimer's patient pay attention to you?

Because he doesn't know the time of day.

Why should you never take a swordfish out to dinner?

Because you'll get stuck with the bill, and if you don't have money to pay the restaurant will call the cods on you. Fin.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What did one priest say to the other priest?

Do you know where my son is " "Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you that I'm a necrophiliac."

What do you tell someone who is bad at sign language?

You have bad hand writing

Enjoy Jokes More Enjoy Jokes

What kind of movies do scurvy circles enjoy?

Rated movies.

What's white & falls from the sky?

The coming of the Lord." HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!...please enjoy this tweet. I'm going to hell.

Choice Jokes More Choice Jokes

What is a proctologist's drink of choice?

Two fingers of whiskey.

What is Bruce Lee's beverage of choice?

WATAAAAAR

Food Jokes More Food Jokes

What do you get if you cross a bag of snakes and a cupboard of food?

Snakes and Larders!sna

Why did the chicken lay an egg?

Quoted from daughter at age 3) To get food for her babies!

Diarrhea Jokes More Diarrhea Jokes

What is the difference between diarrhea and a regular stool?

You can't gbrblblblbl(gargling noise) with a regular stool.

What do you call a news anchor with diarrhea?

Anderson Pooper