What kind of dog always needs a shave?

A bearded collie!

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Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

Why did the dog wear white sneakers?

Because his boots were at the menders!

Why don't dogs make good dancers?

Because they have two left feet!

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

Who reads the news AND makes coffee?

Katie Keurig. (I know the setup might need some work but I just like the punchline I made up.)

What did the math text book say to the Shakespeare text book?

Look, buddy, I've already got a lot of problems, and I really don't need any of your drama.

Shave Jokes More Shave Jokes

Why is it that sumo wrestlers shave their legs?

So they don't get mistaken for feminists.

Why isn't Sean Connery allowed to play Super Mario Bros. any more?

He kept trying to shave the princess.

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of coat does a vampire wear in the rain?

A wet one.

What kind of bug wants to buy lawn turf?

A gras shopper.