Shear Jokes

What did the sheep use to shave before his wedding?

Elopping shears

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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Shave Jokes More Shave Jokes

Why isn't Sean Connery allowed to play Super Mario Bros. any more?

He kept trying to shave the princess.

Who can shave 25 times in one day, and still have a beard?

A barber!

Speed Jokes More Speed Jokes

Why were you speeding when I stopped you?

Motorist: So I could race home to get my license and registration.

What do you yell when a woman falls of a boat?

Full speed ahead

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

How many South Dakotans does it take to go ice fishing?

Four. One to cut the hole in the ice and three to push the boat through.

How do Mexicans cut their pizza?

Little Caesars

Wedding Jokes More Wedding Jokes

Why didn't the cellphone attend the wedding?

He heard the reception was going to be terrible...

Where do rabbits go after their wedding?

On their bunnymoon.

Foreplay Jokes More Foreplay Jokes

How do Muslims do foreplay?

They tickle the goat on the chin.

What does Lenny (of Mice and Men) do during foreplay?

Heavy petting.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What machine should I use at the gym to impress girls?

The ATM

What kind of cheese do you use to entice a bear?

Camembert!

Job Jokes More Job Jokes

When were you most satisfied at your last job?

Me: After lunch, next question.

What do you call an oyster who can't find another job?

A clamboni driver!

Shepard Jokes More Shepard Jokes

What's the difference between The Rolling Stones and a Scottish shepard?

The Stones say "hey you get off of my cloud!" The Shepard says "hey Mc Cloud get of of my ewe!"

What did the Shepard say when he saw the sheep?

I herd that!