Why were you speeding when I stopped you?

Motorist: So I could race home to get my license and registration.

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Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

What did the Hollywood producer say to the Apes in the zoo when they refused to sign contracts to appear in his new film?

Stop playing it cagey!

When do ghosts have to stop scaring people?

When they lose their haunting licenses.

Speed Jokes More Speed Jokes

Who is going to win tonight's presidential election?

The Voyager Probe, speeding away from Earth at 38,000 mph.

What would one call a movie about meth addictions?

Need for speed.

Race Jokes More Race Jokes

Why does Rilla get mad when he's in a race?

A. Because all his friends shout "GO-RILLA!"

Why didn’t the orange win the race?

It ran out of juice.

Motorist Jokes More Motorist Jokes

Why are you driving on the sidewalk?

Motorist: It's too dangerous on the street.

What do you think you're doing parking your car there?

Motorist: I thought it was good place. It says "Safety Zone."

License Jokes More License Jokes

What driver doesn't have a license?

A screwdriver

Why are you driving without a license?

Motorist: Because it was revoked months ago.

Registration Jokes More Registration Jokes

What does the 1286BC inscribed on the mummy's tomb indicate?

The registration of the car that ran him over!

What did the pig say to the drunk man?

Licence and registration please.