Why were you speeding when I stopped you?

Motorist: So I could race home to get my license and registration.

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Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

How is a computer like an air conditioner?

They both stop working properly when you open windows.

What do you call someone who can't stop reading Nancy Drew novels?

A heroine addict.

Speed Jokes More Speed Jokes

Whats the best thing about being addicted to speed?

Only one more sleep until Christmas!

What do you say when a woman falls off a boat?

Full speed ahead!

Race Jokes More Race Jokes

Why do the ghosts never win races?

Because they're always dead tired. I stole this from plain and simple. Just straight up stole it. Why? Because it made me laugh and I didn't see it posted here before.

What do you call a race run by baristas?

A **decaf**alon

Motorist Jokes More Motorist Jokes

Why did you lead me on a high-speed chase?

Motorist: Because you'd catch me on a slow one.

Why didn't you stop at that red light?

Motorist: Then you would have caught up with me.

License Jokes More License Jokes

Which one!?

I mean let me see your license

How can this cop expect me to show him my license when he took it away last month?

What an Idiot.

Registration Jokes More Registration Jokes

What does the 1286BC incribed on the mummy's tomb indicate?

The registration of the car that ran him over!

Why were you speeding when I stopped you?

Motorist: So I could race home to get my license and registration.