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Why didn't the cellphone attend the wedding?

He heard the reception was going to be terrible...

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Attend Jokes More Attend Jokes

Why didn't the insomniac attend his uncle's funeral?

He's not a mourning person

What do University of Miami, Florida State, and University of Florida football fans have in common?

None attended the University of Miami.

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

What is the difference between a hormone and a protein?

You can't hear a protein. (Wait for it)

Which kid is yours?

Me: I don't have kids. I just heard the teachers here are hot. T: M: How you doin'

Cellphone Jokes More Cellphone Jokes

Why didn't the cellphone attend the wedding?

He heard the reception was going to be terrible...

How are children like cellphones?

If youve lost one and havent found it in a couple days, chances are its probably dead.

Reception Jokes More Reception Jokes

Why did AT&ampT have the worst wedding?

No reception.

What is the worst joke you have ever Heard?

I'll start it off: Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The Ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

Wedding Jokes More Wedding Jokes

Why is Halloween considered the scariest time of the year?

Most weddings happen in June.

What's the best moment of your life?

Me: That time I won a stuffed dino- wife: That didn't involve a dinosaur me: Our wedding