Reception Jokes

What's the difference between Donald and a piece of fruit?

Oranges have thick skin. Let the downvotes fly, people! You've only got one! Edit: Did not expect this joke to get this good of a reception. Thanks, guys!

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Why did AT&ampT have the worst wedding?

No reception.

What is the worst joke you have ever Heard?

I'll start it off: Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The Ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

Why didn't the cellphone attend the wedding?

He heard the reception was going to be terrible...

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Marry Jokes More Marry Jokes

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?

The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

Why couldn't Stevie Wonder see his friends?

Because he was married.

Astronaut Jokes More Astronaut Jokes

How does the astronaut cut his hair?

Eclipse

How do you tell an astronaut where they're going?

Straight up.

Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

How do you starve a Socialist?

You hide their food stamps under their work boots. Edit Thank you /u/DoctorBrohoof for my first gold!

What does Mrs. Pancake say when you compliment her on her weight?

Thank you, I'm flattened! I made this joke up on my drive home and am very proud of it. You monkeys better find it funny!

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

Where'd ya get it?

The parrot says, "Africa." (I don't know if you know this one, but I just heard it today)

Why did Frosty the snowman pull down his pants?

He heard the snow-blower was coming.

Fly Jokes More Fly Jokes

What is big hairy and can fly faster than sound?

King Koncord.

Why do they always fly around a live turkey in a cage on Air Force 1?

For spare parts.

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

Where did I get my scarf?

It's a CVS receipt. You love it Oh thank you very much.

What do you call a Parrot that loves maths and hates food?

A polynomeal

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What works better than anti-depressants?

A 12 Gauge in the mouth This came to me whilst being all depressed.

Why did 8 break up with 7?

Because 7 always came first!!!

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of math can you do with light?

Refractions

What kind of fun do priests have?

Nun