Cellphone Jokes

How are children like cellphones?

If youve lost one and havent found it in a couple days, chances are its probably dead.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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Why did the cellphone go to court?

Because it was charged with battery.

Why didn't the cellphone attend the wedding?

He heard the reception was going to be terrible...

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Child Jokes More Child Jokes

Why don't girls like playing dodgeball?

Because we don't like getting hit by balls. 12: *giggles for 5 minutes* You are so my child

Which of the following lines will do a better job of frightening a man away?

1) Get away or I'll call the police!!! 2) I love you and want to marry you and have your children.

Wedding Jokes More Wedding Jokes

What did the sheep use to shave before his wedding?

Elopping shears

Why can't melons have shotgun weddings?

They cantaloupe

Customer Jokes More Customer Jokes

What did the waitress say to the customer after she forgot his Miso soup?

Uh, me so sorry.

What did the grocery store owner say to the customer that asked him if he sold tires?

He shrugged and said, "I've got asparagus."

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why didn't the grizzly wear any shoes?

He wanted to go bear foot.

Why did the otter want to work at NASA?

So he could go to Otter Space.

Attend Jokes More Attend Jokes

Why your oven doesn't attend an university?

It already has at least hundred degrees

What time does Sean Connery attend the Wimbeldon?

Tenish.

Chance Jokes More Chance Jokes

Why does Ed Miliband like advent calendars?

Because it's his only chance to open the door to Number 10!

What do you call a blind, legless buck?

No eye-deer. EDIT: I totally messed this joke up. Please give me another chance with another joke

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

Why was the little shoe sad?

I'm here all night

Why does Shakira have such a hard time sleeping at night?

Because her hips won't lie.

Court Jokes More Court Jokes

What happened to the man who went to court for making deafening noises?

He lost his hearing.

Why did the cellphone go to court?

Because it was charged with battery.