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Battery Jokes

What type of battery does The Fonz use?

AAAA

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I Love Pizza & You

What fuels electronics but drains a relationship?

Battery

How does an Apple Watch owner know that it's midday?

It's already run out of battery.

Why should you never trust someone giving away batteries?

There's no charge.

What did the corn chip say to the battery?

If you're Eveready, I'm Frito Lay.

How much do used batteries cost?

Nothing, they are free of charge.

How does Batman store energy?

In BATteries

What is the difference between a battery and a woman?

A battery has a positive side.

What kind of a battery does Dj Khaled use?

A Li-ion battery.

Why does a Canadian with a stutter never run low on batteries?

He always has plenty of double "eh"s, triple "eh"s...

Why was the Energizer Bunny tried in court?

He was charged with battery.

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Why was the Energizer Bunny in court?

Because it was charged with battery.

What did the potato chip say to the battery?

I'm Frito-Lay when you're Everyready.

Why did the electron go to jail?

He was charged with battery!

Why was the circuit arrested?

Because it was charged with battery!

Why did the robot get the electric chair?

Because he was charged with battery.

What ever happened to the Energizer Bunny?

So the other day I'm talking to a friend about what happened to the Energizer Bunny. It's been quite sometime since I've seen him appear in a commercial. I was always under the impression that he "kept going." My friend proceeds to tell me the Energizer Bunny was arrested last year,and they charged him with battery. Now it all makes sense.

Why did the cellphone go to court?

Because it was charged with battery.

Why did the little girl bury her flashlight?

Her batteries were dead.

Why was the Energizer Bunny jailed?

On charges of battery.

What's the difference between a feminist and a battery?

Batteries have a positive side! inspired by: http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/2zlrot/howmanyfeministsdoesittaketochangea/

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What do you get when you mix batteries and water?

Watt-er

When should you charge a battery?

When you can't pay cash.

Why was the battery arrested?

Cuz it was charged with electricity.

What kind of batteries does a Harvard undergrad use?

AAA

What batteries do turtles use?

Durashells

Why do batteries feel lonely?

Because they are never included in anything.

Why did the police arrest the energizer bunny?

He was wanted for several charges of battery

What does a battery have that a women hasn't?

A positive side....

What is 0.1 as a fraction?

One tenth " Good, now what does 10% mean "Battery low, plug in your phone " Perfect

Why did the Energizer Bunny need to lawyer up?

He was charged with battery.

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Why did the Energizer Bunny go to prison?

He was charged with battery.

What do you get when you put the batteries in the Energizer Bunny backwards?

It keeps coming and coming and coming...

How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb?

They don't change it, they just take forever to find where to fit the batteries

What is the difference between a "Battery" and a woman?

A battery has a positive side.

How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb?

They don't change it, they just take forever to find where to fit the batteries

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Thug Jokes More Thug Jokes

Why do thugs play basketball?

Because it teaches them to shoot, run and steal.

What do a thug and hillbilly have in common?

They both like to throw a hoedown.

Trust Jokes More Trust Jokes

How did Chernobyl disaster happen?

Scientist A: Are you sure? scientist B: Trust me, I know what i'm doing.

Why can't you trust a garbage man who loves his job?

Because he's always talking trash.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What do snakes use to build clocks?

Metal Gears

Why do hipsters only use the microwave?

Because they don't like conventional ovens.

Canadian Jokes More Canadian Jokes

How can you tell if a Canadian is an existentialist?

Instead of saying "I'm an existentialist, eh." They will say "I'm an existentialist,... be."

How many Canadians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Q: How many Canadians does it take to change a lightbulb

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

Why did the farmer name his pig Ink?

Because he kept running out of the pen.

What was the man running around?

From my 5yr old son Because he wanted to catch some sleep.

Phone Charger Jokes More Phone Charger Jokes

Who forgot his phone charger today?

THIS gu

Answer Jokes More Answer Jokes

How many scientists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I don't know, I'm no scientist

How do you put elephant in the fridge?

Answer is open the door and just put the elephant in the fridge.

Feminist Jokes More Feminist Jokes

What's the difference between a bomb vest and a feminist?

A bomb vest does something when it's triggered.

What do Vegans, ISIS and Feminists have in common?

None of them like pork.