Battery Jokes

What type of battery does The Fonz use?

AAAA

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What fuels electronics but drains a relationship?

Battery

Why should you never trust someone giving away batteries?

There's no charge.

What did the corn chip say to the battery?

If you're Eveready, I'm Frito Lay.

How much do used batteries cost?

Nothing, they are free of charge.

How does Batman store energy?

In BATteries

What is the difference between a battery and a woman?

A battery has a positive side.

Why does a Canadian with a stutter never run low on batteries?

He always has plenty of double "eh"s, triple "eh"s...

Why was the Energizer Bunny tried in court?

He was charged with battery.

Why was the Energizer Bunny in court?

Because it was charged with battery.

What did the potato chip say to the battery?

I'm Frito-Lay when you're Everyready.

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Why did the electron go to jail?

He was charged with battery!

Why was the circuit arrested?

Because it was charged with battery!

Why did the robot get the electric chair?

Because he was charged with battery.

Why did the cellphone go to court?

Because it was charged with battery.

Why did the little girl bury her flashlight?

Her batteries were dead.

Why was the Energizer Bunny jailed?

On charges of battery.

What do you get when you mix batteries and water?

Watt-er

When should you charge a battery?

When you can't pay cash.

Why was the battery arrested?

Cuz it was charged with electricity.

What kind of batteries does a Harvard undergrad use?

AAA

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What batteries do turtles use?

Durashells

Why do batteries feel lonely?

Because they are never included in anything.

Why did the police arrest the energizer bunny?

He was wanted for several charges of battery

What does a battery have that a women hasn't?

A positive side....

What is 0.1 as a fraction?

One tenth " Good, now what does 10% mean "Battery low, plug in your phone " Perfect

Why did the Energizer Bunny need to lawyer up?

He was charged with battery.

Why did the Energizer Bunny go to prison?

He was charged with battery.

What do you get when you put the batteries in the Energizer Bunny backwards?

It keeps coming and coming and coming...

How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb?

They don't change it, they just take forever to find where to fit the batteries

What is the difference between a "Battery" and a woman?

A battery has a positive side.

How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb?

They don't change it, they just take forever to find where to fit the batteries

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Relationship Jokes More Relationship Jokes

What is hard to get from Straight men?

Straight answers about relationships.

Why do horses have such a low divorce rate?

Because they're all in relationships!

Charge Jokes More Charge Jokes

Why did the Energizer Bunny go to prison?

He was charged with battery.

How do you stop an angry rhino from charging?

You take away its credit card

Inspire Jokes More Inspire Jokes

What flavor gum does a scientist prefer?

Exspearamint. inspired by the presidential gum joke.

What do you call it when a hedge fund manager loses his job to a Watson inspired AI built by IBM?

It doesn't matter. We'll all be laughing too hard to care.

Positive Jokes More Positive Jokes

What does a battery have that a women hasn't?

A positive side....

What is the difference between a battery and a woman?

A battery has a positive side.

Feminist Jokes More Feminist Jokes

What does a feminist get when she can't afford a punching bag?

A boyfriend.

How many feminists does to take to screw in a lightbulb?

Only one. She stands with the bulb and the world revolves around her.

Similarity Jokes More Similarity Jokes

What is the similarity between a tornado and a divorce in the south?

Someone is loosing a trailer.

What's the similarity between your zero-exercise lifestyle and a professional weight-lifter competing in the Olympics?

They both involve muscles and they both result in a-trophy.

Answer Jokes More Answer Jokes

How many Public Radio hosts does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

We'll be back with that answer right after this pledge break.

What do you call a loonie answering questions on reddit?

DollarAMA. *Only Canadians will get it, sorry.

Apple Watch Jokes More Apple Watch Jokes

How does an Apple Watch owner know that it's midday?

It's already run out of battery.

What does an Apple Watch do when it gets hungry?

It goes back four seconds.