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What does a code-switching trilingual Russian say when he wants to increase his bovine supply?

Mas cow.

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What did Dodi Fayed say to his driver?

Want to go out with me and Di tonight?

Why did the guy cut a hole in his carpet?

He wanted to watch the floor show. And why did he cover it back up...He realized that he didn't want to watch the "hole" show.

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Why do Russians celebrate Christmas on the 7th of January?

Cause eight reindeer and a sleigh are a lot quicker than 6 pigs and a stoneboat.

Where do Russians get their milk from?

From Moscow

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Why did Kesha switch "$" back to an "s"?

Because she no longer has a dollar to her name.

Who wins?

Neither. France surrenders and Italy switches sides.

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What does a code-switching trilingual Russian say when he wants to increase his bovine supply?

Mas cow.

What's the similarity between Chris Brown being released and Pokemon Go being released?

An increase in battery cases.