What does a code-switching trilingual Russian say when he wants to increase his bovine supply?

Mas cow.

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What does Delia Smith say when she wants to fight a road?

Let's be avenue.'

Why doesn't San Antonio have a pro football team?

Because then Dallas would want one too.

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How many Russians does it take to change a light bulb?

None. In Russia, light bulb changes you.

How do Russians put windows in?

Putin Windows duh.

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What do computers and reincarnation have in common?

Switching Users

Who wins?

Neither. France surrenders and Italy switches sides.

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What's the similarity between Chris Brown being released and Pokemon Go being released?

An increase in battery cases.

Why did parking tickets increase after Persephone was kidnapped?

Demeter wasn't working.