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Why did the cellphone go to court?

Because it was charged with battery.

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Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

How do you say thank you to a New York sushi chef?

Gracias.

What do you call enchilada sauce bkessed by a priest?

HOLY MOLE' Thank you, I'll be in r/dadjokes all week!

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

How many ants are needed to fill an apartment?

Ten-ants

Whatcha got, reddit?

I am not funny and I need to be. I am writing a script for a short show that's formatted like "Weekend Update" on Saturday Night Live. So that means one sentence about the topic, and then one liner joke. Thank you all!

End Jokes More End Jokes

What do you call a group of crows?

The end of season 5.

Why did the algae end up at school?

She wanted to buy an algae bra.

Charge Jokes More Charge Jokes

Why wasn't meek mills phone working?

Because it wasn't "charged up"

What do you call a potato that thinks he is in charge?

A Dictator

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac do at night?

He stays up wondering if there really is a dog.

What do a washing machine and a one night stand have in common?

A washing machine doesn't follow you around for a week after you put a load in it..

Battery Jokes More Battery Jokes

What fuels electronics but drains a relationship?

Battery

When should you charge a battery?

When you can't pay cash.

Cellphone Jokes More Cellphone Jokes

How are children like cellphones?

If youve lost one and havent found it in a couple days, chances are its probably dead.

Why didn't the cellphone attend the wedding?

He heard the reception was going to be terrible...

Court Jokes More Court Jokes

Why are burglars such good tennis players?

Because they spend such a lot of their time in courts!

What does a War Boy from Mad Max say when he goes to court to sign an affidavit?

WITNESS ME!