Court Jokes

Why was the photo acquitted in his trial at court?

Because he was framed!

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What did the lawyers say when they finished their basketball game?

Court is adjourned

What do lawyers wear to court?

Law suits!

What do you call a basketball that rolls off court and deflates?

Out of bounce.

What did the lazy suspect say to the court?

I haven't done anything to warrant a rest.

What do you call it when a Spanish man goes to court for custody of his children?

Fight for your right to padre

What does a War Boy from Mad Max say when he goes to court to sign an affidavit?

WITNESS ME!

Why was the Energizer Bunny tried in court?

He was charged with battery.

Why was the Energizer Bunny in court?

Because it was charged with battery.

Why did the tear testify in court?

Because he was an eye wetness.

Who represents a Ghost in court?

A Paralegal.

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Why was the electrolytic solution taken to court?

It was charged with a salt.

What did the tomato say to the cheese in court?

I rest my queso.

What do most people wear to court?

Law-suits

Why did the cellphone go to court?

Because it was charged with battery.

What should I do?

Me: Court her. Friend: Dude, I don't have any change...

What do you call 1 white guy surrounded by a court of black people?

The NBA.

What happened to the man with a legal fetish when he went to court for his parking ticket?

He got off on a technicality

What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room?

Odor in the court!!!

Why did the stoner take his wife to court?

He wanted to get joint custody.

What food should you avoid if you don't want to go to court?

Sue-shi! I'll excuse myself.

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Why are burglars such good tennis players?

Because they spend such a lot of their time in courts!

Who's there! Althea! Althea who?

Althea in court!

Why won't a woman sleep with you after a date at Burger King?

Because you have to court her before you pound her.

What did the judge say when the skunk was on trial?

Odour in court!

What did the judge say when a skunk entered the courtroom?

Odor Odor in the court!!!

What happened to the man who went to court for making deafening noises?

He lost his hearing.

Why'd the chicken cross the court?

Because he heard the ref was blowin' fowels..

What did the Japanese buck say to the doe he was courting?

OC I don't know how to put this but...I'm kind of a big deer.

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Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

What do pirates say when they find buried treasure?

Thanks for the gold!

What did your husband say?

He said 'Thank you'.

Lawyer Jokes More Lawyer Jokes

What kind of suit does a lawyer like best?

The Spanish Inquisition.

How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

His lips are moving.

Right Jokes More Right Jokes

What did Matthew McConaughey yell at the drive that was about to miss his turn?

A right a right a right!

How many ears does Captain Kirk have?

Three... The one on the left The one on the right And of course, the Final Front Ear

Black People Jokes More Black People Jokes

Why don't black people get sunburns?

Prisons are indoors.

Why did so many black people die in Vietnam?

Because when they shouted "GET DOWN!" they all started dancing.

Fight Jokes More Fight Jokes

What do you call a fight between a human and a gorilla?

A harumble.

What is it called when two lawyers are fighting?

Civil War

House Jokes More House Jokes

How do you get a blonde on the roof?

Say the drinks are on the house

Why did the man open a rooftop bar?

He wanted to have drinks on the house.

Hell Jokes More Hell Jokes

What the hell are you doing with that ivory and gold dress?

I said, "It's not what it looks like!"

Where the hell are u?

ME: Well...u know that shop where u saw that ring you love W: OMG YES M: I'm catching Pokemon near there

Lucas Jokes More Lucas Jokes

What if George Lucas was the new Supreme Court justice?

Lucas gets indicted after video surfaces of him tampering with previous decisions he made.

Why do the English drink warm beer?

Lucas refrigerators.