Court Jokes

Why was the photo acquitted in his trial at court?

Because he was framed!

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What did the lawyers say when they finished their basketball game?

Court is adjourned

What do lawyers wear to court?

Law suits!

What do you call a basketball that rolls off court and deflates?

Out of bounce.

What did the lazy suspect say to the court?

I haven't done anything to warrant a rest.

What do you call it when a Spanish man goes to court for custody of his children?

Fight for your right to padre

What does a War Boy from Mad Max say when he goes to court to sign an affidavit?

WITNESS ME!

Why was the Energizer Bunny tried in court?

He was charged with battery.

Why was the Energizer Bunny in court?

Because it was charged with battery.

Why did the tear testify in court?

Because he was an eye wetness.

Who represents a Ghost in court?

A Paralegal.

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Why was the electrolytic solution taken to court?

It was charged with a salt.

What did the tomato say to the cheese in court?

I rest my queso.

What do most people wear to court?

Law-suits

Why did the cellphone go to court?

Because it was charged with battery.

What should I do?

Me: Court her. Friend: Dude, I don't have any change...

What do you call 1 white guy surrounded by a court of black people?

The NBA.

What happened to the man with a legal fetish when he went to court for his parking ticket?

He got off on a technicality

What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room?

Odor in the court!!!

Why did the stoner take his wife to court?

He wanted to get joint custody.

What food should you avoid if you don't want to go to court?

Sue-shi! I'll excuse myself.

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Why are burglars such good tennis players?

Because they spend such a lot of their time in courts!

Who's there! Althea! Althea who?

Althea in court!

Why won't a woman sleep with you after a date at Burger King?

Because you have to court her before you pound her.

What did the judge say when the skunk was on trial?

Odour in court!

What did the judge say when a skunk entered the courtroom?

Odor Odor in the court!!!

What happened to the man who went to court for making deafening noises?

He lost his hearing.

Why'd the chicken cross the court?

Because he heard the ref was blowin' fowels..

What did the Japanese buck say to the doe he was courting?

OC I don't know how to put this but...I'm kind of a big deer.

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Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

What do you think of wearing a straight jacket?

I think I could pull it off

Why do chicks wear those big, jangly earrings?

Stirrups

Scare Jokes More Scare Jokes

What happened to the ghost who couldn't scare?

He had to join a support group since he couldn't handle his boos.

Why don't blind people like skydiving?

Scares their dogs.

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

What does Harry Potter say when he walks into a bar?

I Expectsum Patronum

Who is that walking up my driveway?

Anxiety in 3...2...1... knock, knock *sigh* "WAIT A SECOND!" *mumbles* "I need to find pants."

Photo Jokes More Photo Jokes

Whats the difference between Jesus and his photo?

It takes only one nail to hang the photo

How many photos of Kanye West do you suppose Kanye West has on his phone?

More than 1,000

White People Jokes More White People Jokes

What's something white people can call other white people but black people can't call other black people?

Dad.

What do you call a bench with white people?

The NBA

Law Jokes More Law Jokes

What do you have when you have a mother in law buried up to her neck in sand?

Not enough sand.

Why was the tree in prison?

Because it broke every branch of the law.

Fight Jokes More Fight Jokes

Why are boxers never late to their fights?

Because they have developed very good punch quality.

What does Spiderman do when he's not fighting crime?

Web Development.

Roll Jokes More Roll Jokes

What does Optimus Prime say on 4-20?

Autobots, roll up!

What kind of car does a Japanese chef drive?

Rolls Rice