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How does a snail win a race?

It runs against Hillary.

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Snail Jokes More Snail Jokes

What did the snail say while riding on the turtle's back?

Wheeeeeee!

What gas do snails prefer?

Shell.

Win Jokes More Win Jokes

Which three American Generals won the most during the cold war?

General Motors, General Electric, and General Dynamics.

Why did the mayonnaise win the running race?

Because the tomato sauce couldn't Ketchup.

Hillary Jokes More Hillary Jokes

Why did Hillary go to the OB/GYN?

She was feelin' the Bern!

Why did vatican invite Bernie not Hillary?

They couldn't afford it.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

What do you call a dictator running a bookshop?

The Supreme Reader.

Why does someone who runs marathons make a good student?

Because education pays off in the long run!

Race Jokes More Race Jokes

Why didn’t the orange win the race?

It ran out of juice.

What colour T-shirt would win a race?

Red, because it runs the most.