How does a snail win a race?

It runs against Hillary.

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Snail Jokes More Snail Jokes

What do you get if you cross a vampire with a snail?

I don't know but it would slow him down.

What did the snail say when his friend lost his car?

Where did Es-car-go.

Win Jokes More Win Jokes

Why did the ambulance show up to a tennis match between Number 8 and Number 9?

The umpire called it: nine won one.

Why didn’t the orange win the race?

It ran out of juice.

Hillary Jokes More Hillary Jokes

What Hillary's word for a bribe?

Pay her and she'll speak to you about it.

What's the difference between Hillary's e-mails and the UK leaving the EU?

Hillary got off Scott-free.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

What do you call a gigantic polar bear?

Nothing you just run away!

What did you do in Iran?

I ran.

Race Jokes More Race Jokes

What did one fish say to the other during the race?

I'M GOING TILAPIA!!!

Why didn’t the orange win the race?

It ran out of juice.