Snail Jokes

What do you call a snail on a sail boat?

A snailor

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What did the snail say while riding on the turtle's back?

Wheeeeeee!

What do you call a shipping crate full of snails?

Escargot.

What did the snail say when he jumped on the turtle's back?

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

What did the snail on the turtles back say?

WEEEEEEEEEE!

Why arent there any French Restaurants in Davy Jones Locker?

Dead men sell no snails!

What did one snail say to the other snail?

It...all...happened...soooooooo...fast

What did the snail say when he was riding on the back of the turtle?

Weeeeeeeeee

What did the snail say as he rode on the back of a turtle?

Wheeee!

Why did the snail cross the road?

It is not clear yet, let it cross the road first. Update: It has been confirmed that it was to meet the Chicken who crossed the road earlier.

What did the snail say while riding on the back of the tortoise?

Wheeeee!!!! --hey, at least it's a fun joke for kids!

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What is stronger an elephant or a snail?

A snail because it carries it's house an elephant just carries its trunk!

What are snails trying to do?

Their best

What did the snail say when put on top of a turtle?

Weeeeeeeeeeee

What did the snail say when he rode a turtle?

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

How does a snail win a race?

It runs against Hillary.

What do you do when two snails have a fight?

Leave them to slug it out.

What gas do snails prefer?

Shell.

What do you get if you cross Dracula with a snail?

The world's slowest vampire.

What did the snail say when his friend lost his car?

Where did Es-car-go.

Why did the snail draw an "S" on the side of his car?

So that when he drove by people could say, "Look at that escargot!"

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What do you get if you cross a vampire with a snail?

I don't know but it would slow him down.

What did the snail say when he hitched a ride on the turtle?

A. Wheeeee!!!!!

How do snails get their shells all shiny?

They use snail Polish.

Why doesnt McDonalds serve snail?

Because of sanitation reasons.

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Jump Jokes More Jump Jokes

Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?

Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump.

Why did the boy jump off the dock?

Pier pressure

Elephant Jokes More Elephant Jokes

How do you get an elephant into a Safeway bag?

You take the f out of "safe" and the f out of "way".

How can you tell if there is an elephant in your dessert?

You get very lumpy ice cream!

Slug Jokes More Slug Jokes

What did the slug say as he slipped down the window very fast?

How slime flies!

Why did the bros take a shot of alcohol together?

Because if one bro takes a shot, the other takes a slug! #Bromanceforlife #Dietogether

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happened to the man who owned a riding academy?

Business kept falling off!

What happened after the ugly man married the beautiful blonde?

They had a wedding reception.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What's in front of a woman and in the back of a cow?

The W. Yeah my dad just busted this joke on me.

What did Bob Marley say to his wife after he opened the fridge?

No, Woman, no pie.

Carry Jokes More Carry Jokes

What do you call the vehicle used to carry Henry VIII's second wife to the hospital?

An Anne-Boleyn-ce.

Why does Axl Rose love to carry around The Scarlet Letter?

Because every Rose has its Hawthorne

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What did the couch surfing, yoga junkie say when his friend asked him to leave?

Namaste.

Why did a girl leave his boyfriend for a mushroom?

Because he wasn't a fungi!

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

Why did Heisenberg remove the speedometer from his car?

So he would stop getting lost everything he checked it.

What do you call the largest number of grizzlies you can fit in a car?

The bear maximum