Snail Jokes

What do you call a snail on a sail boat?

A snailor

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What did the snail say while riding on the turtle's back?

Wheeeeeee!

What do you call a shipping crate full of snails?

Escargot.

What did the snail say when he jumped on the turtle's back?

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

What did the snail on the turtles back say?

WEEEEEEEEEE!

Why arent there any French Restaurants in Davy Jones Locker?

Dead men sell no snails!

What did one snail say to the other snail?

It...all...happened...soooooooo...fast

What did the snail say when he was riding on the back of the turtle?

Weeeeeeeeee

What did the snail say as he rode on the back of a turtle?

Wheeee!

Why did the snail cross the road?

It is not clear yet, let it cross the road first. Update: It has been confirmed that it was to meet the Chicken who crossed the road earlier.

What did the snail say while riding on the back of the tortoise?

Wheeeee!!!! --hey, at least it's a fun joke for kids!

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What is stronger an elephant or a snail?

A snail because it carries it's house an elephant just carries its trunk!

What are snails trying to do?

Their best

What did the snail say when put on top of a turtle?

Weeeeeeeeeeee

What did the snail say when he rode a turtle?

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

How does a snail win a race?

It runs against Hillary.

What do you do when two snails have a fight?

Leave them to slug it out.

What gas do snails prefer?

Shell.

What do you get if you cross Dracula with a snail?

The world's slowest vampire.

What did the snail say when his friend lost his car?

Where did Es-car-go.

Why did the snail draw an "S" on the side of his car?

So that when he drove by people could say, "Look at that escargot!"

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What do you get if you cross a vampire with a snail?

I don't know but it would slow him down.

What did the snail say when he hitched a ride on the turtle?

A. Wheeeee!!!!!

How do snails get their shells all shiny?

They use snail Polish.

Why doesnt McDonalds serve snail?

Because of sanitation reasons.

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Car Jokes More Car Jokes

Why did the rich guy crash his car?

He wanted to see how the Mercedes bends

Why couldn't the restaurant patron get into his car?

He had Gnocchi.

Turtle Jokes More Turtle Jokes

What did the snail on the turtles back say?

WEEEEEEEEEE!

How do turtles communicate?

With shell phones.

Mess Jokes More Mess Jokes

Why don't rabbits like beer?

Because it messes with their hops

What did the messed up psychologist have for dinner?

Freud rice.

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What did the Metis people think of the look on Stephen Harper's face when he lost the election?

They though it was Riel funny!

Why do bears have fur coats?

Because they'd look stupid in anoraks!

Dead Man Jokes More Dead Man Jokes

Why did the monster take a dead man for a drive in his car?

Because he was a car-case.

Why arent there any French Restaurants in Davy Jones Locker?

Dead men sell no snails!

Leg Jokes More Leg Jokes

What do you call a spider with no legs?

A raisin

What has three feet but no legs?

A yardstick.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

Why was the women unable to leave the boutique?

She couldn't find the Dior

What do phone books and women have in common?

They both couldn't vote before 1920

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

Why couldn't Edward leave the Airport?

Because he was Snowden...

How can a room full of couples be empty?

There isn't a single person left!