How do snails get their shells all shiny?

They use snail Polish.

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What do you call Charlie Sheen's brother if he were a financial advisor?

Emilio Investevez. Fun game/running joke friends in college used to play. Wondering if Reddit would enjoy the game too.

How do I find answers using Google.com?

On Yahoo Answers. Stand by while the internet divides itself by zero.

Snail Jokes More Snail Jokes

What did the snail say while riding on the turtle's back?

Wheeeeeee!

Why did the snail draw an "S" on the side of his car?

So that when he drove by people could say, "Look at that escargot!"

Shell Jokes More Shell Jokes

What did the turtle do when he ran out of gas?

He went to the Shell station.

What gas do snails prefer?

Shell.