April Sale - 20% Off

Choose Jokes

Why did the aliens choose to not invade and enslave the human race?

Because they're not garbage collectors.

Everyday Deserves a Joke
April Sale

Everyday Deserves a Joke

$14.99 $19.99

Why did the customer choose T-Mobile?

Because he wanted the worst cellphone service in the world.

Why did Fetty Wap chose that as his stage name?

Because he wanted to make $50K per day from ad revenue.

Why does the prosecutor only choose jurors who drive Hummers?

So that there's no chance of a hung jury

Why should've Christians chosen farts over bread?

It's more fun to break wind

Why does California have more lawyers and New Jersey have more toxic waste dumps?

New Jersey got to choose first

What is Putin to Ukraina, a friend or a brother?

A brother, because you can choose your friends.

What is the difference between pick and choose?

To pick is to make a selection... And choose are what Cubans wear on their feet.

Why did Clemson choose orange as its team color?

So they could play football on Saturday, go hunting on Sunday, and pick up garbage the rest of the week.

What are the rules about Canadians?

Does everybody get one Do I get to choose Where do I sign up

How did Jared Fogle lose so much weight?

Because he chose from the kids menu

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes
April Sale

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

$14.99 $19.99

Which do you choose?

WRONG. Neither. Don't ever take my candy.

Why did the peace-loving incandescent bulb reject the candle and choose the fluorescent lamp as role model?

The fluorescent lamp wouldn't hurt a fly.

What game do they choose?

They chose "Sorry!".

What did JFK say before going to visit Marilyn Monroe?

I choose to go to Marilyn's hotel room this night and do the naughty things, not because she is easy, but because I am hard.

Why couldn't the dolphin choose a career?

She had no sense of porpoise.

Who would you turn to face?

Be careful with whom you chose

What did you choose?

Guy: I don't remember.

What is my girlfriend's favorite meal?

A dish called: "I don't know, you choose."

What's the difference between "choice" and "choose?

Choice" is your ability to make decisions, "choose" are what Mexicans put on their feet.

How much for 2 children?

She replied, "$9.50." "Awesome!" I said. "Do I get to choose or is it a lucky dip "

I Love Pizza & You
April Sale

I Love Pizza & You

$5.99

What could you bring to this company?

Me: Well I guess I could bring my stereo, but I get to choose what we listen to.

How many Anti-Vaxxers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

As a mother, I choose not to screw it in. Light bulbs are dangerous weapons created by the Soviet Union, and I will not screw it in; it could severely hurt my child. As everyone knows, light bulbs are the principle source of autism in this world, and I have to take a stand on it.

You might also enjoy:

Garbage Jokes More Garbage Jokes

Why did Clemson choose orange as its team color?

So they could play football on Saturday, go hunting on Sunday, and pick up garbage the rest of the week.

What do you call a bee in the garage?

Garbage.

Sunday Jokes More Sunday Jokes

Why did Clemson choose orange as its team color?

So they could play football on Saturday, go hunting on Sunday, and pick up garbage the rest of the week.

What are the 7 Irish drinking holidays?

Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday.

Canadian Jokes More Canadian Jokes

What did the Canadian think of his hardwood flooring?

It was Oak, Eh!

What's common between Canadians and Belgians?

They're mostly really nice people, but they have the French living there too.

Alien Jokes More Alien Jokes

Why do aliens always disembark via ramp?

Do they have problems with stairs Or are flying saucers just handicap-accessible

Why did the aliens choose to not invade and enslave the human race?

Because they're not garbage collectors.

Decision Jokes More Decision Jokes

What's the difference between "choice" and "choose?

Choice" is your ability to make decisions, "choose" are what Mexicans put on their feet.

How does a group of dolphin's make a decision?

Flipper coin!

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What did the baby skunk want to be when he grew up?

A big stinker!

Why don't Germans play games with new players?

Because they don't want to wreck Danubes.

Mexican Jokes More Mexican Jokes

What do you call a street on the Mexican border?

Wall Street

How do Mexican dogs say "hello" when in Japan?

Konnichihuahua

Hung Jury Jokes More Hung Jury Jokes

Why does the prosecutor only choose jurors who drive Hummers?

So that there's no chance of a hung jury

What do you call a group of twelve, angry, well-endowed men?

A hung jury.