Why'd the lawyer go to Heaven?

Hell was full.

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Lawyer Jokes More Lawyer Jokes

How do you know you can't trust doctors and lawyers?

Because they both "practice" their professions.

Why are Lawyers buried forty feet deep when they die?

Because deep down they're really nice people.

Hell Jokes More Hell Jokes

What did you do before you were married sir?

*with teary eyes* whatever the hell i wanted to do...

What the hell is that?

Sherlock responds, "A lemon tree my dear Watson."

Heaven Jokes More Heaven Jokes

Why are people with celiac disease more likely to get into heaven?

Because they reject setian.

What did the angel say when he saw God make the element Phosphorus?

It's a match made in Heaven!