Why'd the lawyer go to Heaven?

Hell was full.

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Lawyer Jokes More Lawyer Jokes

How do two lawyers greet each other?

With a firm handshake.

Why is it that New Jersey got all the toxic waste dumps and California got all the lawyers?

New Jersey had first choice.

Hell Jokes More Hell Jokes

What did granny say after leaving her handbag on a bus?

Allahu Akbar!" I'm going to hell for this.

How do you make holy water?

You boil the hell out of it

Heaven Jokes More Heaven Jokes

Why are people with celiac disease more likely to get into heaven?

Because they reject setian.

How did the Chinese atheist get to heaven?

Jesus said to him "Behold! I am risen!" and he said "That's nice I don't bereave you."