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Why did the peace-loving incandescent bulb reject the candle and choose the fluorescent lamp as role model?

The fluorescent lamp wouldn't hurt a fly.

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Fly Jokes More Fly Jokes

What do you call an Asian who flies planes?

A pilot.

What do you get if your budgie flies into the blender?

Shredded Tweet!

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

What is love? The energy of life. What is marriage?

The energy bill...

Why did the table love playing volleyball?

Because it was always getting set! I think she gets it from her mother.

Reject Jokes More Reject Jokes

What's worse than getting rejected by an attractive stranger?

Getting hit on by an ugly stranger.

Why did Mr. T reject Socialism?

Because he stumbled across a quote by Karl Marx which said: "All you have to lose is your chains."

Candle Jokes More Candle Jokes

What did the candle say when it couldn't sleep due to his own candlelight?

There ain't no rest for the wicked

What does a basketball player do before he blows out his candles?

He makes a swish!

Hurt Jokes More Hurt Jokes

What if my knees start to hurt?

Me to instructor: See what I'm up against

What did the router say to the doctor?

It hurts when IP.

Choose Jokes More Choose Jokes

Why did the customer choose T-Mobile?

Because he wanted the worst cellphone service in the world.

What did you choose?

Guy: I don't remember.