Why did the peace-loving incandescent bulb reject the candle and choose the fluorescent lamp as role model?

The fluorescent lamp wouldn't hurt a fly.

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Fly Jokes More Fly Jokes

Why does Peter Pan fly?

Because if someone hit your peter with a pan, you'd fly too!!

What happens when you cross a fly and a mountain climber?

Trick question, you can't cross a vector and a scalar.

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

Why do Russians love pho?

Because they're SO-VIET

What is your emergency?

Me: I love you. 911: Hang up. Me: No you hang up. 911: Stop. Me: This is so us.

Reject Jokes More Reject Jokes

Why are people with celiac disease more likely to get into heaven?

Because they reject setian.

Why did Mr. T reject Socialism?

Because he stumbled across a quote by Karl Marx which said: "All you have to lose is your chains."

Candle Jokes More Candle Jokes

What did the candle say when it couldn't sleep due to his own candlelight?

There ain't no rest for the wicked

Why was the candle mad at his friend?

He blew him off.

Hurt Jokes More Hurt Jokes

What did Jesus say when he was nailed upon the cross?

Me! That hurts!

What hurts more giving birth or being kicked in the balls?

A women will normally want more children after a year or two. No man has ever wanted another kick in the balls. Case closed.

Choose Jokes More Choose Jokes

Why should've Christians chosen farts over bread?

It's more fun to break wind

What are the rules about Canadians?

Does everybody get one Do I get to choose Where do I sign up