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What is Putin to Ukraina, a friend or a brother?

A brother, because you can choose your friends.

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Brother Jokes More Brother Jokes

What do they call a virgin down in the south?

Faster than her brother!

What did a black twin called his brother before they're born?

Inmates

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

What's the problem?

Wife: He makes friends with the strangest things Me petting a bee: You're not strange are you Alan

Why do the homies call their friend Paragraph?

Because he's too short to be an essay

Putin Jokes More Putin Jokes

What did Putin say when the world got mad at him for invading the Ukraine?

Cri-me-a river!

How do the Russian people feel about their government?

They're Putin up with it.

Choose Jokes More Choose Jokes

Why did the peace-loving incandescent bulb reject the candle and choose the fluorescent lamp as role model?

The fluorescent lamp wouldn't hurt a fly.

How much for 2 children?

She replied, "$9.50." "Awesome!" I said. "Do I get to choose or is it a lucky dip "