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What is Putin to Ukraina, a friend or a brother?

A brother, because you can choose your friends.

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Brother Jokes More Brother Jokes

Why was the animal unhappy?

He had a ruff week.. His life wasn't purrfect. His brother was a shellout. His mother's been a real crab lately. His family was really shellfish. He had no porpoise in life.

Why are you putting the saddle on backward?

Brother: How do you know which way I'm going

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

Why did the trout go to med school?

Mounting pressure from his friends and family

Why can't there be some sort of mathematic formula for making friends?

A squadratic formula, if you will.

Putin Jokes More Putin Jokes

Why did Putin forget his backpack at home when leaving for school?

He was Russian.

What did Russian judge say to the jury?

I better stop Stalin for time and Putin a little more effort.

Choose Jokes More Choose Jokes

How many Anti-Vaxxers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

As a mother, I choose not to screw it in. Light bulbs are dangerous weapons created by the Soviet Union, and I will not screw it in; it could severely hurt my child. As everyone knows, light bulbs are the principle source of autism in this world, and I have to take a stand on it.

Why did the customer choose T-Mobile?

Because he wanted the worst cellphone service in the world.