What brand of shoes does a paranoid person wear?

Sketchers

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What kind of clothes do lawyers wear?

Lawsuits.

What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandles?

Philippe Philoppe

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What kind of shoes do bears wear?

None because they go barefoot.

What kind of shoes do thieves wear?

Sneakers.

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Why aren't there any "old husband tales"?

There are. They just get re-branded as "logic" and "the truth".

What brand of shoes do chickens wear?

Reebok bok bok