Brand Jokes

What brand of underwear did Jesus wear?

Fruit of the Womb

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What brand of shoes does a paranoid person wear?

Sketchers

What brand of pen does Lance Armstrong use?

Uni-ball

What brand of car would the Roadrunner be?

Jeep Jeep

What brand of Vacuum Cleaner does Snoop Dogg use?

Bissell

What brand of underwear do zombies wear?

Haaaaaannnnnneeeeeessssss

Whats your favourite brand of beer?

When i was younger, i used to drink any brand of beer, but now i am older Budweiser

What brand of vodka does a Canadian drink?

Grey Moose

What brand is it?

Me: *looks puzzled*licks lips* It's donut glaze.

How can we take our branding to the next level?

BUZZ LIGHTYEAR: I have an idea...

What brand of computer is best at singing?

A Dell

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What brand should suicidal people clearly avoid?

Nike. Their motto says just "Just do it".

What brand of shoes do chickens wear?

Reebok bok bok

What did the rich bearded slave owner say when he was stranded in the desert and saw a mirage of an Arabian lamp and rubbed it?

Here in my mirage got this brand new labor genie here

Why aren't there any "old husband tales"?

There are. They just get re-branded as "logic" and "the truth".

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Thief Jokes More Thief Jokes

What did the Mexican shopkeeper say to the thief?

That's Nachos.

How do you call a robber in a suit of armor?

A thief in the knight

Box Jokes More Box Jokes

What do you call a box with a treasure location?

A xbox.

Why is the lady on the Red Heads matchbox always smiling?

There are 48 heads in her box - of course shes happy!

Ketchup Jokes More Ketchup Jokes

Why don't I have a boyfriend?

God: I sent you one, you dumped him for putting ketchup on his steak. Me: Ah. That's right. Gross.

What did the bun say to the hot dog?

I relish the fact that you've mustard the will to ketchup to me!

Mexican Jokes More Mexican Jokes

What do you call a fight between a Mexican and Jared Fogle?

Alien vs Predator.

Whats the closest a Mexican will ever be to happiness?

The border.

Bin Laden Jokes More Bin Laden Jokes

Why did the bin lorry crash into a bunch of pedestrians?

It was Bin-Laden

Shorten Jokes More Shorten Jokes

What did the tailor say to his customer after shortening the length of his pants?

A-hem!

How can you shorten a bed?

Don't sleep long in it.

Knife Jokes More Knife Jokes

Why did the two knives go to the dance together?

Because they both looked sharp!

What's the different between a knife and a feminist?

A knife has a point

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

What kind of khakis do birds wear?

Khakaws!

Why does the little mermaid wear sea-shells?

She grew out of her b-shells