Ketchup Jokes

What happens when you run away from tomatos?

They ketchup.

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What is Walter White's favourite brand of ketchup?

Heinz-enburg.

What happens when you mix mustard and ketchup together?

It's must-up..

What did the bun say to the hot dog?

I relish the fact that you've mustard the will to ketchup to me!

Why did the mayonnaise win the running race?

Because the tomato sauce couldn't Ketchup.

What did the mother tomato tell the baby tomato when the baby tomato was walking too slow?

Honey, walk faster, KETCHUP!

Why is PC the mustard race?

Because consoles can't ketchup.

What do you tell a slow tomato?

What Ketchup

What kind of baseball do burgers play?

Ketchup baseball!

Why did the chip chase the sauce?

To ketchup Edit: I'm sorry

What do you call a drawing of Ketchup?

Sketchup

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What does Ramen and Ketchup taste like together?

Poverty.

Why are your eyes covered in ketchup?

I'm often asked by people: "Why are your eyes covered in ketchup " So I tell them it's because Heinz sight is 20/20.

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Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

How many PA's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Nine........one to do it and eight others to wish they'd been asked.

What is the first question you ask a baby cow, after it's gotten over an illness?

How are you vealing?

Veggie Jokes More Veggie Jokes

What did the veggies say, as they sat down for supper?

Lettuce, pray.

What veggies are the kids having with dinner?

Me: (Smacking the bottom of a ketchup bottle) Fresh Tomatoes...

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

Why are the only kids in Warsaw magnet schools from Central Poland?

Cause North and South Poles repel each other...

What kind of medicine do you give a kid having a fit?

An anti-hissy-tamine.

Break Jokes More Break Jokes

Why did the band 999 megabytes break up?

Because they couldn't get a gig.

What do you call it when your water breaks and you can't get ahold of the midwife?

A midwife crisis.

Walter White Jokes More Walter White Jokes

Why can't you tell Walter White a knock knock joke?

Because HE is the one who knocks.

What is Walter White's favourite band?

Well it's not Saving Jane, that's for sure.

Run Race Jokes More Run Race Jokes

Why did the mayonnaise win the running race?

Because the tomato sauce couldn't Ketchup.

Smack Jokes More Smack Jokes

What did the rude prism say to the beam of light that smacked into him?

Get bent!

What did the rude prism say to the light beam that smacked into him?

Get bent!

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

What do you call a person who plays the viola?

A violator.

Why did the hipster burn himself?

Because he played with fire before it was cool.