Ketchup Jokes

What happens when you run away from tomatos?

They ketchup.

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What is Walter White's favourite brand of ketchup?

Heinz-enburg.

What happens when you mix mustard and ketchup together?

It's must-up..

What did the bun say to the hot dog?

I relish the fact that you've mustard the will to ketchup to me!

Why did the mayonnaise win the running race?

Because the tomato sauce couldn't Ketchup.

What did the mother tomato tell the baby tomato when the baby tomato was walking too slow?

Honey, walk faster, KETCHUP!

Why is PC the mustard race?

Because consoles can't ketchup.

What do you call pasta with ketchup?

Spaghetto Ba-dum tss.

What do you tell a slow tomato?

What Ketchup

What is the question most frequently asked by a philosopher?

Would you like ketchup with your chips

What kind of baseball do burgers play?

Ketchup baseball!

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Why did the chip chase the sauce?

To ketchup Edit: I'm sorry

Why don't I have a boyfriend?

God: I sent you one, you dumped him for putting ketchup on his steak. Me: Ah. That's right. Gross.

What do you call a drawing of Ketchup?

Sketchup

What does Ramen and Ketchup taste like together?

Poverty.

Why are your eyes covered in ketchup?

I'm often asked by people: "Why are your eyes covered in ketchup " So I tell them it's because Heinz sight is 20/20.

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Like Jokes More Like Jokes

Why don't pediatricians like to wait?

Because they have little patients.

Who's your friend who likes to play?

JOHN CENA** *DUn DUnDUnDUn DUn DUnDUnDUn.*

Bun Jokes More Bun Jokes

What cake wanted to rule the world?

Attila the Bun.

What do you call jokes about bread?

Buns

Mix Jokes More Mix Jokes

What do you get when... what do you get when you mix a joke and a rhetorical question?

A rhetorical answer

What do you get when you mix an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic?

A person who stays up all night wondering whether or not there is a dog.

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

What do you get if you play a country music song backwards?

You get your wife back. Your house back. Your truck back. Your dog back...

How do you get a cellist to play fortissimo?

Write 'pp espressivo'.

Veggie Jokes More Veggie Jokes

What veggies are the kids having with dinner?

Me: (Smacking the bottom of a ketchup bottle) Fresh Tomatoes...

What did the veggies say, as they sat down for supper?

Lettuce, pray.

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What would a midget be jealous of at a little kid?

The kid is over 5 feet tall.

Why don't ghosts have kids?

Because they have Hollow-Weinies

Smack Jokes More Smack Jokes

How does a blonde high-5?

She smacks herself in the forehead.

Why don't I play chess with the Prodigy?

They smack my bishop

Cover Jokes More Cover Jokes

What's green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs?

A girl scout that got hit by a car.

Why did the spy stay in bed?

To stay under cover