Ketchup Jokes

What happens when you run away from tomatos?

They ketchup.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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What is Walter White's favourite brand of ketchup?

Heinz-enburg.

What happens when you mix mustard and ketchup together?

It's must-up..

What did the bun say to the hot dog?

I relish the fact that you've mustard the will to ketchup to me!

Why did the mayonnaise win the running race?

Because the tomato sauce couldn't Ketchup.

What did the mother tomato tell the baby tomato when the baby tomato was walking too slow?

Honey, walk faster, KETCHUP!

Why is PC the mustard race?

Because consoles can't ketchup.

What do you call pasta with ketchup?

Spaghetto Ba-dum tss.

What do you tell a slow tomato?

What Ketchup

What kind of baseball do burgers play?

Ketchup baseball!

Why did the chip chase the sauce?

To ketchup Edit: I'm sorry

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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What do you call a drawing of Ketchup?

Sketchup

What does Ramen and Ketchup taste like together?

Poverty.

Why are your eyes covered in ketchup?

I'm often asked by people: "Why are your eyes covered in ketchup " So I tell them it's because Heinz sight is 20/20.

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Mayonnaise Jokes More Mayonnaise Jokes

What do you call a funny jar of mayonnaise?

Lmayo!

Why did the mayonnaise win the running race?

Because the tomato sauce couldn't Ketchup.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What's the difference between a blue 7 and a red 4?

3, duh. (My ex's 9 year old little sister told me this joke, and followed is up with: "and YOU'RE the math guy!" >< Burned.)

How can you tell that a baker's hands are on fire?

He can't seem to *stop droppin' rolls*.

Heinz Jokes More Heinz Jokes

What is Walter White's favourite brand of ketchup?

Heinz-enburg.

Why are your eyes covered in ketchup?

I'm often asked by people: "Why are your eyes covered in ketchup " So I tell them it's because Heinz sight is 20/20.

Break Jokes More Break Jokes

How did the Egyptian go broke?

He got caught up in a pyramid scheme.

How did they invent break dancing?

Trying to steal the hubcaps off a moving car.

Hot Dog Jokes More Hot Dog Jokes

How do you determine the personality of a hot dog?

Give it an Oscar-Myers-Briggs test

Where do you put a hot dog?

On a pun.

Pasta Jokes More Pasta Jokes

Why did the pasta get in trouble?

Because he was stroganoff!

What do you call pasta that someone chokes on?

Ralveoli.

Philosopher Jokes More Philosopher Jokes

What do you get when you cross a philosopher, an insomniac and a dyslexic?

A guy who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog. Infinite Jest, by DFW

How do you get a philosopher off your porch?

Pay him for the pizza.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

Why is it OK to wash an American flag in hot water?

Because these colors don't run.

Whats the only fruit that can't run away to get married??

A Cantaloupe.