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What do you tell a slow tomato?

What Ketchup

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How many Camera Assistants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five: One to do it and four to tell you how they did it on the last job.

How can you tell a rabbit from a skunk?

A skunk uses a cheaper deodorant!

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What did the mother tomato tell the baby tomato when the baby tomato was walking too slow?

Honey, walk faster, KETCHUP!

Why are your eyes covered in ketchup?

I'm often asked by people: "Why are your eyes covered in ketchup " So I tell them it's because Heinz sight is 20/20.