Shorten Jokes

What did the tailor say to his customer after shortening the length of his pants?

A-hem!

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Couple's Daily Question Mug

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What's the United States favorite brand of shortening?

San Fran Crisco

Why did the artist go to the bakery?

For shortening!

What do you do when your wife is blocking view of the TV?

Go to the kitchen and shorten her chain.

How can you shorten a bed?

Don't sleep long in it.

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Artist Jokes More Artist Jokes

Why do artists die early in life?

Too many strokes.

What do you call an artist in a dark alley?

Sketchy

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

What's the best part about sleeping with twenty five year olds?

There's twenty of them.

Why did the Italian wear handcuffs to bed?

So he wouldn't talk in his sleep

Block Jokes More Block Jokes

What do you call a business man that blocks snow?

A cold wall banker.

What do Eskimos get from sitting on a block of ice?

A. Polaroids.

Customer Jokes More Customer Jokes

Why don't many customers go to the tea house?

Because the prices are so steep

Who earns a living driving their customers away?

A taxi driver

Tv Jokes More Tv Jokes

What do you say when you see your TV floating at night?

Put it down, Tyrone!

How will the Duggar's stay on TV and make money?

By moving the show to a "true crime" channel and calling it "18 Victims and Counting".

Chain Jokes More Chain Jokes

Why is all the racism in America downstairs?

That's where we keep them chained up.

What have you done wrong if the wife keep complaining when you try to watch TV in the living room?

You made the chain too long in the kitchen.

United States Jokes More United States Jokes

Why didn't Russia return the NSA whistleblower to the United States?

He was Snowden.

What is similar between Spain, Ireland, and the United States?

Their economies falter after a popping of a housing bubble.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What's the difference between your job and your wife?

Nobody does your job for you when you're out

What did the US President with Alzheimer's ask his wife?

Who are you