Shorten Jokes

What did the tailor say to his customer after shortening the length of his pants?

A-hem!

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What's the United States favorite brand of shortening?

San Fran Crisco

Why did the artist go to the bakery?

For shortening!

How can you shorten a bed?

Don't sleep long in it.

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What did the salesman at footlocker say to the customer?

Shoes wisely

What do you call customers at Lidl?

Lidl people.

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Who's to blame?

The motorist. He really shouldn't be driving in the kitchen. (Edit: formatting)

How do you spell women backwards?

Kitchen

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What's better than being the first Black President of the United States?

Being the 45th white one.

What even is that?

United States: Lol, we made it up.

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How can a man go eight days without sleep?

No problem, He sleeps at night.

What service do you get if you sleep in a bakery?

Bread and Bakedfast!

Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

Why did the kid punch the bed?

His mother told him to hit the hay.

What did the handyman do... when he got his girlfriend in bed with him for the first time?

He screwed, nutted, and bolted.

Tv Jokes More Tv Jokes

What's on TV?

I said, 'Dust.' And that's how the fight started....

How does a poor man watch TV?

With binoculars. u know, he has to watch whatever the neighbours are watching.

Hem Jokes More Hem Jokes

What did the tailor say to his customer after shortening the length of his pants?

A-hem!

Block Jokes More Block Jokes

What did one of Frankenstein's ears say to the other?

I didn't know we lived on the same block.

What do you tell a cow blocking a road?

Mooove