Shorten Jokes

What did the tailor say to his customer after shortening the length of his pants?

A-hem!

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

What's the United States favorite brand of shortening?

San Fran Crisco

Why did the artist go to the bakery?

For shortening!

How can you shorten a bed?

Don't sleep long in it.

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What do you do if you fiend King Kong in the kitchen?

Just don't monkey with him.

What does a know-it-all always have in their kitchen?

A pedantry.

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What did the burglar give his wife for her birthday?

A stole.

What did Adam say to his wife on the day before Christmas?

It's Christmas, Eve!

Customer Jokes More Customer Jokes

What did the butcher say when he handed his customer an empty pack of hotdogs on Halloween?

Happy halloweenie

Why did the customer choose T-Mobile?

Because he wanted the worst cellphone service in the world.

Bakery Jokes More Bakery Jokes

Why are bakeries always so depressing?

They're bread inside.

Why should you never invest in bakeries?

Because they have a high turnover rate.

United States Jokes More United States Jokes

How much money does the Treasurer of the United States make?

All of it.

Why doesn't the United States have to worry about a North Korean nuclear missile attack?

We have the Iron Giant

Tv Jokes More Tv Jokes

What's the difference between a TV and a newspaper?

Ever tried swatting a fly with a TV?

Why couldn't little Johnny get the toy he saw on TV?

His parents weren't 18 or older.

Pant Jokes More Pant Jokes

What do you call a speech so scary it makes you crap your pants?

A dire rhetoric.

What does an helicopter and pants have in common?

They both moust go down in emergency.

View Jokes More View Jokes

What do you call an affectionate island?

Isle of view

How did King George view the colonists?

He thought they were revolting