How can you shorten a bed?

Don't sleep long in it.

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

How do Australians sleep?

With their heads at the foot of the bed.

How do you get a black man to stop jumping on the bed?

Put velcro on the ceiling.

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

How'd you sleep last night?

Son says: "umm... With my eyes closed " Edit: This actually happened btw. Probably funnier irl.

What do monkeys sleep on?

Apricots. I used to love this joke when I was a little kid and told it over and over. I'm still a little in love with it for that reason. What are some of your favorite jokes from when you were a little kid?

Shorten Jokes More Shorten Jokes

What's the United States favorite brand of shortening?

San Fran Crisco

How can you shorten a bed?

Don't sleep long in it.