How much money does the Treasurer of the United States make?

All of it.

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What does the twitter bird do when it needs money?

It goes to Twerk!

How do meth users get the money to buy their drugs?

The toothfairy.

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Who is faster... Speedy Gonzales or Road Runner?

It depends on how close they are to the Mexico-United States border.

Why didn't Russia return the NSA whistleblower to the United States?

He was Snowden.