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What is your sin, my child?

Me: Twitter. Padre: Wow, if I had a nickel for every time...

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Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What are your best "If I had for every time..." jokes?

Two of my favorites are:

What do you get if you steamroll a crab and a Korean at the same time?

A crustacean

Child Jokes More Child Jokes

How many children do I want to have?

Kind of a weird question for a first date, but umm I guess enough to finish the temple

What is another word for children who haven't learned how to do math?

Yesallwomen

Twitter Jokes More Twitter Jokes

Where're you going?

Me: To dinner with my friends! Mom: Your friends Me: I'm going to use McDonalds' free Wifi to get on twitter...

When asked, 'Are you Twittering?

If I'm looking at my phone I now reply, 'No. I am not Twittering,' in a sort of flat monotone. And tweet.

Sin Jokes More Sin Jokes

Why do mathematician never go to the beach?

Because they got sin and cos to give them a tan

What did the mathematician's apprentice say when he didn't get acknowledged?

Notice me sin()!!!

Padre Jokes More Padre Jokes

What do you call it when a Spanish man goes to court for custody of his children?

Fight for your right to padre

What do Mike Piazza, and an altar boy have in common?

They were both catchers for the Padres.

Nickel Jokes More Nickel Jokes

What is your sin, my child?

Me: Twitter. Padre: Wow, if I had a nickel for every time...

Who gave you a nickel?

Everyone did.