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What do you do when a bird attacks you?

Duck.

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Duck Jokes More Duck Jokes

How can you tell a bagpiper with perfect pitch?

A. He can throw a set into the middle of a pond and not hit any of the ducks.

What does a duck like to have for breakfast?

Quacker Oats

Bird Jokes More Bird Jokes

What do you get if you cross a bird with a monstrous snarl?

A budgerigrrrrr!

What did one bird say to the other bird?

Toucan play at this game.

Attack Jokes More Attack Jokes

Why won't alligators attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy

Why does England always get attacked in the summer?

Because the Knights are shorter then.