Traffic Jokes

Why did the chicken run out into traffic?

To get to the other side.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Why is there only a stairway to heaven but a highway to hell?

Easy. More traffic is going to hell.

What do you call traffic in The Czech Republic?

Praguetory

What did the Egyptian Pharaoh do when he got caught in traffic?

ANKH ANKH!!

What do you call an Oyster who is stuck in traffic?

A PearlJam

Who is the brother of Juan Luna?

Edi si AnTWOnio Luna. Yeah yeah, the result of being stuck in the traffic.

What do cows do in traffic?

They moove

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Driver Jokes More Driver Jokes

Why cant train drivers be sentenced to the electric chair?

Because they're bad conductors.

What did the New York Salmon say to the driver?

I'm swimming here!

Middle Jokes More Middle Jokes

Why did Silly Sue throw her guitar away?

Because it had a hole in the middle.

What do you call a girl who stands in the middle of a bowling alley?

Elaine

Hell Jokes More Hell Jokes

What did you do before you were married sir?

*with teary eyes* whatever the hell i wanted to do...

Why There is No Readhead in Hell?

God does not punish twice.

Traffic Jam Jokes More Traffic Jam Jokes

Why did the strawberry cross the road?

There was a traffic jam.

How do you clear a traffic jam at a banker convention?

With a plunger.

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

How many IT guys does it take to Fix a printer?

Three, one suggests to check if it is plug in, another recommends to reboot the printer, and finally one to check to see if the printer had paper and laugh about how easy the solution was.

How bad is my career?

I met a homeless guy on the beach in Los Angeles & thought "Wow this guy has it made"

Realize Jokes More Realize Jokes

How do you know when you are a drug addict?

When you realize that you have had 2 strepsils within one hour.

How do you know that you're a peaceful country?

When you realize that you can't spell country without UN.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did the girl sit on her watch?

She wanted to be on time.

What is it that you are both most fearful of?

WIFE: I just...sobbing...don't want the kids to suffer ME: Eels

Flash Jokes More Flash Jokes

What goes Vrrrooom-schreech, Vrrrooom-schreech, Vrrrooom-schreech?

A blonde at a flashing red light.

What goes VROOM SCREECHVROOM SCREECHVROOM SCREECH?

A blonde going through a flashing red light.