What's a caterpillar afraid of?

A dogerpillar (Thank you Laffy Taffy for the worst best joke I've ever heard)

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How old?

Woman: "Thanks, she's 34 weeks. Do you have the time " Me: "Sure, it's 972 minutes past midnight."

What does Apu say when people leave him to browse reddit?

Thank you, Karma gain

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What joke is the darkest?

Fire away please! I want to hear it all!

What is the only thing on earth that goes "ha ha" on a Monday?

A bit late, but.... A blonde who heard a joke on Friday.

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What does a television have in common with a rabbit?

His ears! Yes, this is a real joke I got from a Laffy Taffy wrapper today, not 30 years ago. I did not laugh.

What's a caterpillar afraid of?

A dogerpillar (Thank you Laffy Taffy for the worst best joke I've ever heard)

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What is a caterpillar scared of?

A dogapillar

What do you call 5 cats sitting on top of each other?

A caterpillar