Pool Jokes

Why do people from Istanbul always swim?

Because they're constant in a pool.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool?

Bob.

What sound does a pool make when someone you don't like jumps in?

DOOOOUUUUCCCCHHHEEEEEE!

What's the term for when the pool breaks during water birth?

A midwife crisis.

What were the French children doing in the pool?

Piscine.

What do you call a depressed dog swimming in a pool?

A watermeloncollie.

Why are they called dive bars?

Because they have pool

How do you get 50 Canadians out of the swimming pool?

Say, " Everyone out of the pool please."

What's Irish and sits by the pool?

Paddy O'Furniture

What do you call five blondes in a pool?

Air bubbles.

How do you know when it's okay to swim in a pool of milk?

When it's past your eyes.

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What do you call five Mexicans drowning at the bottom of their pool?

Cinco.

What happened to the skunk who failed his swimming lesson?

He stank to the bottom of the pool!

What's the longest game in the world?

Two women playing pool.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs...... sitting at your door?

Matt....floating in your pool Bob....hanging on your wall Art.... water skiing Skipper.

What'd u ask Santa for 6: a speed boat M: like a Lego boat?

6: no M: oh for the bath 6: no M: the pool 6: *doesnt break eye contact* no

How do you get three drunk, rowdy Canadians out of a pool?

Ask them to get out of the pool.

What do you call a pool full of details?

The specific ocean.

Why can't DJs play pool?

They always scratch.

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, who hangs out in your pool?

Bob

Why are dolphins cleverer than humans?

Within 3 hours they can train a man to stand at the side of a pool and feed them fish!

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Why were the elephants kicked out of the pool?

Because they kept dropping their trunks....

What game do Anti-Vaxxer's kids play in the pool?

Marco Polio

What did Saddam Hussein say every time he played pool?

I rack.

What do you call a woman on a cruise ship in Mexico using the diving board at the pool?

A broad abroad on a board aboard.

How do you get 20 Canadians out of a pool?

Okay folks, time to get out of the pool!

What do you call a child with no arms and no legs swimming in a pool?

Bob.

Is the pool safe for diving?

It deep ends.

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What's the Russian word for water?

Vodka

How do Russian sprinters train?

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What do you call an army of toddlers?

Infantry.

What's the difference between Gabe Newell and a toddler?

A toddler can count past two...

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What does an empty bottle of Champaign and an orphan have in common?

Nether of them have a pop.

What did the baby corn say to the mama corn?

Wheres pop corn?

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Why do you wear riding boots?

You don't ride horses. Me: Why do you wear sneakers You don't sneak.

How do you scare a man?

Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice.

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What's the easiest way to condense milk?

Mlk

What is the easiest way to make a banana split?

Cut it in half.

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What's the difference between a paddling pool and a swimming pool?

Deep ends really.

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What are the similarities between a US handgun and a Feminist?

30 of them are triggered every second

How do you make 30 senior citizens swear?

Shout "Bingo!" before them

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What do you need to make a crystal salad?

Onions, tomatoes, and a whole bunch of lattice

What do you call a bunch of furries, an all girls volleyball meet, and a video game tournament?

Genesis 3.