Pool Jokes

Why do people from Istanbul always swim?

Because they're constant in a pool.

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What's the term for when the pool breaks during water birth?

A midwife crisis.

What were the French children doing in the pool?

Piscine.

What do you call a depressed dog swimming in a pool?

A watermeloncollie.

Why are they called dive bars?

Because they have pool

How do you get 50 Canadians out of the swimming pool?

Say, " Everyone out of the pool please."

What do you call five blondes in a pool?

Air bubbles.

How do you know when it's okay to swim in a pool of milk?

When it's past your eyes.

What happened to the skunk who failed his swimming lesson?

He stank to the bottom of the pool!

What'd u ask Santa for 6: a speed boat M: like a Lego boat?

6: no M: oh for the bath 6: no M: the pool 6: *doesnt break eye contact* no

How do you get three drunk, rowdy Canadians out of a pool?

Ask them to get out of the pool.

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What do you call a pool full of details?

The specific ocean.

Why can't DJs play pool?

They always scratch.

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, who hangs out in your pool?

Bob

Why are dolphins cleverer than humans?

Within 3 hours they can train a man to stand at the side of a pool and feed them fish!

Why were the elephants kicked out of the pool?

Because they kept dropping their trunks....

What did Saddam Hussein say every time he played pool?

I rack.

What do you call a woman on a cruise ship in Mexico using the diving board at the pool?

A broad abroad on a board aboard.

How do you get 20 Canadians out of a pool?

Okay folks, time to get out of the pool!

What do you call a child with no arms and no legs swimming in a pool?

Bob.

Is the pool safe for diving?

It deep ends.

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Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

Why does a mother carry her baby?

The baby can't carry the mother.

Why was the baby elf sad?

Because he was Legolas

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between Windows 95 and a virus?

A virus does something.

What is the difference between a robot and a sandwich?

Everything. These two objects have nothing in common.

Glue Jokes More Glue Jokes

Why couldn't the glue hold the walls together?

Because it wasn't ceiling.

What's the difference between a tuna, a piano, and a tub of glue?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano tuna.

Canadian Jokes More Canadian Jokes

What do you call two Canadians buying coffee?

Double double doubles

Why do Canadians prefer their jokes in hexadecimal?

Because 7 8 9 A.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

Why do Vampires make poor project managers?

Because the refuse you to meet with stake holders. (why yes, I am a dad why do you ask)

When two bears asked a pastor to marry them in the forest, what did he say?

Hold on, let me get my bear rings.

Swimming Pool Jokes More Swimming Pool Jokes

What's the difference between a paddling pool and a swimming pool?

Deep ends really.

Why am I ambivalent about a swimming pool?

It just deepends.

Float Jokes More Float Jokes

What do you call a group of singing people floating around in the ocean?

An acappellago

Who was the best financier in the Bible?

Noah. He floated his stock while the whole world was in liquidation.

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

What did the Loch Ness Monster say to his friend?

Long time no sea.

What happened when the host of Dirty Jobs said hello to a friend that was fairly far away?

Microwave.