Pool Jokes

Vegetable soup. I apologise to those offended by my terrible joke. Have another Whats the hardest part of cooking a vegetable? Getting the wheelchair into the oven

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What do you call five Mexicans on the bottom of a pool?

Sinko

How do you get 50 Canadians out of the swimming pool?

Say, " Everyone out of the pool please."

What's Irish and sits by the pool?

Paddy O'Furniture

How did the hipster break his neck?

He jump off the diving board before it was pool.

What do you call five blondes in a pool?

Air bubbles.

What's blue and yellow and sits at the bottom of the pool?

A baby with slashed floaties. What's red and yellow and floats on top of the pool? Floaties with a slashed baby.

How do you get a bunch of Canadians out of a swimming pool?

Say "Get out of the pool."

What do you call a horny guy in a pool?

Driftwood

This joke may have profanity.

How do you know when it's okay to swim in a pool of milk?

When it's past your eyes.

How do remove a bunch of drunk Canadians from the pool?

You ask them to leave.

Why are cops so bad at pool?

Because they can't resist hitting the black ball.

What did Jeffery Dahmer yell when he jumped in the pool?

CANNIBAL!!!

What do you call five Mexicans drowning at the bottom of their pool?

Cinco.

What happened to the skunk who failed his swimming lesson?

He stank to the bottom of the pool!

What's the difference between a paddling pool and a toddler?

The pool doesn't scream when you go in dry.

What's the longest game in the world?

Two women playing pool.

What happens if the baby pees?

Pregnant wife: She won't. She waits till she's born 5: Right. Just like no one pees in the pool

What do you call a man with no arms or legs...... sitting at your door?

Matt....floating in your pool Bob....hanging on your wall Art.... water skiing Skipper.

What'd u ask Santa for 6: a speed boat M: like a Lego boat?

6: no M: oh for the bath 6: no M: the pool 6: *doesnt break eye contact* no

How do you get three drunk, rowdy Canadians out of a pool?

Ask them to get out of the pool.

What do you call a pool full of details?

The specific ocean.

Why can't DJs play pool?

They always scratch.

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, who hangs out in your pool?

Bob

Why are dolphins cleverer than humans?

Within 3 hours they can train a man to stand at the side of a pool and feed them fish!

Why were the elephants kicked out of the pool?

Because they kept dropping their trunks....

What game do Anti-Vaxxer's kids play in the pool?

Marco Polio

What did Saddam Hussein say every time he played pool?

I rack.

Howdo you drown a blonde?

Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool

What do you call a woman on a cruise ship in Mexico using the diving board at the pool?

A broad abroad on a board aboard.

How do you get 20 Canadians out of a pool?

Okay folks, time to get out of the pool!

What do you call a child with no arms and no legs swimming in a pool?

Bob.

Why can't a policeman win a game of pool?

Because he always shoots the black one first.

Is the pool safe for diving?

It deep ends.

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Cuz they'll get chapped lips. Brr.

How many girls does it take to change a light bulb?

I don't know, you tell me.

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What's the difference between a paddling pool and a swimming pool?

Deep ends really.

What's the difference between a paddling pool and a toddler?

The pool doesn't scream when you go in dry.

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Why pink camo?

Do people hunt barbie jeeps or try to sneak up on pepto bismol

How do you scare a man?

Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice.

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What do you call a really really big ant?

A GIANT! Now what do you call a baby ant an Infant! What do you call an ant thats into business A Merchant! please post more ant jokes if you know of any.