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30 Jokes

What do you call someone with no legs?

30 a week poorer.

Love

Love

What did the Irishman text his Wife?

Honey I'm down at the pub having a pint with the lads. Be home in about 30 min. If I'm not back by then please read this message again.

What if earth rotates 30 times faster?

Interviewer:"If the Earth rotates 30 times faster, what will happen?" engineer:"We will get our salary everyday" :D Think Greedily Act Confidently

How many frames per second does it take to screw in a light bulb?

30 because that's peasants work.

When a 16-inch viola and a 17-inch viola are dropped simultaneously from a 30-story building which one hits the pavement first?

Who cares!

What does Fetty Wap buy when he goes to Walmart?

7 tees, 30 eggs

Why is the man only left with 30?

Credit to Bo Burnham.

What's a magazine?

Asked every guy under 30.

What's the worst part about 30 lawyers in a bus going over a cliff?

The bus could fit 30 more lawyers.

What do you call someone who has to shave 30 times a day?

A barber

What are the similarities between a US handgun and a Feminist?

30 of them are triggered every second

Love Card

Love Card

Why do Mormon women stop having kids at 29?

Because 30 is too many!

How do you make 30 senior citizens swear?

Shout "Bingo!" before them

What is the difference between a corrupt cop and a disposable camera?

A disposable camera doesn't have to reload 3 times to take 30 shots.

Who can shave 30 times a day and still have a beard?

A barber.

What did they tell the most famous child actress from the 30's when she tried to audition for a role in Harry Potter?

Shirley you can't be Sirius.

How old do I look?

9yo: 30 Aww, you deserve ice crea- 9yo: Just like grandma -m but too bad you're not getting any

How many Chiropractors does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One, but they'll take 30 visits to do it.

What if weight loss supplements ads are just made by British people really transparently trying to scam you?

You'll lost 30 for only $42.82! Guaranteed.

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Camel Jokes More Camel Jokes

What do you call a camel without humps?

Humphrey.

What does an Arab do after riding his camel?

He has a cigarette!

Interviewer Jokes More Interviewer Jokes

What if earth rotates 30 times faster?

Interviewer:"If the Earth rotates 30 times faster, what will happen?" engineer:"We will get our salary everyday" :D Think Greedily Act Confidently

How do you hit those high notes?

Adam Levine: I sold my soul to the devil. Interviewer: Excuse me Adam Levine: Practice.

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

How does a crazy person walk through the forest?

He takes the psychopath.

What's it called when Batman walks out of church?

Christian Bale Hah

Pool Jokes More Pool Jokes

Is the pool safe for diving?

It deep ends.

How do you get 20 Canadians out of a pool?

Okay folks, time to get out of the pool!

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between Donald and a piece of fruit?

Oranges have thick skin. Let the downvotes fly, people! You've only got one! Edit: Did not expect this joke to get this good of a reception. Thanks, guys!

What's the difference between Justin Bieber and Pinocchio?

Some day, Pinocchio's going to be a real boy.

Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

Why don't women like drinking beer at the beach?

Because they'll get sand in their schlitz.

What do you call an organized group of people waiting to get drinks?

Punchline

Movie Jokes More Movie Jokes

What movie did they go to see?

Closed for Winter".

What movie should we see?

ME, SECRETLY TRYING TO HARVEST HER INK: Something super scary *I empty my popcorn bucket*

2 Hour Jokes More 2 Hour Jokes

What time is our movie tonight?

Me: 7:30. It's 2 hours 50 minutes Hub: WHAT! I CANT STAY UP TILL 10:30 "Back off ladies. He's mine"

What is this movie about?

It is about 2 hours long.