What's a magazine?

Asked every guy under 30.

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What happened to the guy who ingested helium?

He became enlightened.

When a coworker tells everyone he proposed, I'm the guy that asks, "So, what did she say?

I'm funny that way.

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What is wrong with me?

Asking for a friend..

How does Sean Connery ask for Worchestershire sauce?

X-post from askreddit) Worsheshershershosh.

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What did the Irishman text his Wife?

Honey I'm down at the pub having a pint with the lads. Be home in about 30 min. If I'm not back by then please read this message again.

What did they tell the most famous child actress from the 30's when she tried to audition for a role in Harry Potter?

Shirley you can't be Sirius.

Magazine Jokes More Magazine Jokes

What's a magazine?

Asked every guy under 30.

What magazine makes cows stampede to the newsstand?

Cows-mopolitan!