Basketball Jokes

What do you call a Hindu god playing basketball?

Swishnu

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What's the difference between a penalty shot in basketball, and a tiny curly wig designed for a bug?

One is a free throw, and the other is a flea 'fro.

Who placed 3rd for basketball in the 2016 Olympics?

LeBronze James

What do the Golden State Warriors do when they're not playing basketball?

They watch moving picktures.

What do you call a basketball that rolls off court and deflates?

Out of bounce.

Why was Cinderella bad at basketball?

Because her coach was always a pumpkin.

Where do Canadians play Basketball?

In the NB - "eh"

Why was Saint Peter so good at basketball?

He denied Jesus 3 times

Why hasn't Nintendo released a Mario themed basketball video game?

Because Japan isn't good at basketball.

Why doesn't Jesus play basketball?

He got crossed up.

What does a Chihuahua play basketball with?

A tennis ball!

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Why aren't burgers too good at basketball?

Too many turnovers!

Why is cupid bad at basketball?

When he shoots, someone else scores.

Why doesn't Gabe Newell play basketball?

Because he can't make 3's

What do you get if crossed a new born snake with a basketball?

A bouncing baby boa!

Where do Easter bunnies dance?

At the basketball.

Why are criminals so good at basketball?

They shoot first and ask questions later.

Why hasn't Africa ever won Olympic gold in basketball?

Because Africa isn't a country.

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How many Mexicans does it take to fix a light bulb?

Twenty-Juan

What makes Mexican and black jokes so similar?

Once you've heard Juan you've heard Jamal.

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Why don't Hindu rappers have battle raps?

Because they got no beef.

What are Hindus' favorite flowers?

Reincarnations!

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What does a basketball player do before he blows out his candles?

He makes a swish!

What's a basketball players favorite kind of cheese?

Swish cheese.

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Why hasn't Nintendo released a Mario themed basketball video game?

Because Japan isn't good at basketball.

What do you call a techno-themed grocery store?

Gigi D'Agostino

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What do ghosts watch if they want to relax?

Skelly-vision!

Why should you never watch a movie with a generous Nascar driver?

He might give away spoilers!

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What did the groundhog's trainer tell him before the Olympics?

Gopher gold.

Why does Mexico do so badly in the Olympics?

Because everyone who can run, jump or swim is in the US.

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Who placed 3rd for basketball in the 2016 Olympics?

LeBronze James

Who remembers the 2016 presidential race?

Nobody expected that late run from Gonzalez, did they?

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Why can't American engineers design linear actuators?

Because they always try to maximize the degrees of freedom.

What's the difference between a penalty shot in basketball, and a tiny curly wig designed for a bug?

One is a free throw, and the other is a flea 'fro.