3rd Jokes

Who is better? The 3rd wave feminist or the pencil?

The pencil is better. It has a point.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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Who placed 3rd for basketball in the 2016 Olympics?

LeBronze James

Why do pencils shave?

To look sharp. Credit: 3rd grade me.

How often do you floss?

Me: Daily Dentist: *Pulls fully grown centaur from between my 2nd and 3rd molars*

What do they call traffic laws in 3rd world countries?

Guidelines

Why doesn't Gabe Newell have kids?

He can't get to 3rd base

Why does it take longer to get from 1st to 2nd base, than it does to get from 2nd to 3rd base?

Because there’s a Shortstop in between!

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Minor Jokes More Minor Jokes

How does Jared like to play his flute?

In A minor.

Why did the Chemistry Teacher go to Jail?

He got caught giving alcohol to minors.

Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many skateboarders does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in and one to film it. One, but it takes him fifty tries.

How many aspiring actresses does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

I don't know - normally they screw in the casting director's hot tub

Gabe Newell Jokes More Gabe Newell Jokes

What's Gabe Newell's favourite game?

Angry Nerds

Why doesn't Gabe Newell play basketball?

Because he can't make 3's

Pull Jokes More Pull Jokes

Why did the puppeteer get out of jail?

Because he "pulled a few strings"!

What do you do if someone's choking?

Pull back a few inches

Homeless Man Jokes More Homeless Man Jokes

What does a homeless man gets for Christmas?

A cold.

Why does the homeless man only drink coffee?

He had no proper tea..

Point Jokes More Point Jokes

Why did the blind man use chopsticks?

Because he couldn't see the point in forks.

Why did the guy not draw a circle?

Because there was no point.

Tape Jokes More Tape Jokes

What do you call Quicksilver when he's duct taping people's mouths?

A running gag.

What do you give someone who is about to tear up?

Tape

Shave Jokes More Shave Jokes

What do you call someone who has to shave 30 times a day?

A barber

How much for a haircut?

Barber: Fifteen dollars. How much for a shave Barber: Ten dollars. Right - shave my head.