How the hell did you get a body like that?

He asked. "Thanks," I said, "That's very flattering." He said, "Not really mate."

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Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

What's black, wears a bandana and ends the world?

Tupacalypse. (thanks to my buddy Mike)

What do you call a dog that is underwater?

A sub-woofer! Thank you, I'll be here all day.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

When your partner asks how many people you have ever slept with, answering 'what did I say the last time you asked?

Is unwise, apparently.

Why wouldn't you ask the zebra for music advice?

Because he only knows about The White Stripes.

Mate Jokes More Mate Jokes

Which phone is most sold in Australia?

The htc M8. Oi mate

Why did a pair of tomatoes play footsie?

To-mate-toes!

Body Jokes More Body Jokes

Why are giraffe's necks so long?

Because their heads are so far away from their bodies!

Which part of the body goes to heaven first?

A Kid replied: The legs... Because everynight I see my mum's legs up high and screaming "OH GOD! I'M COMING!!