Collect Jokes

How does Kurt Cobain collect his thoughts?

With a mop.

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Which Greek God loved to collect animals?

Zoos

How did the dungeon keeper plan for retirement?

Collecting stocks and bonds.

How many of the commemorative state quarters have you collected?

I have 40.

What is a Furman freshman doing when he grasps at thin air?

Collecting his thoughts.

How does Ebenezer Scrooge make phone calls?

Collect!

What has two arms and 14 legs?

Guy who collects legs.

Why did the Otter collect parts for his spaceship?

So he could go to otter space.

What am I supposed to do with this speeding ticket?

Officer, "Keep it, when you collect four of them, you get a bicycle."

What's the easiest way for a Gorilla hunter to make money?

Collect unemployment insurance!

How did rich people get their money?

They were calm and collected.

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What's a dog favourite hobby?

Collecting fleas!

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Paper Jokes More Paper Jokes

What should we call this portable computer?

SOME GUY: Laptop everyone applauds...w/ tears in my eyes i crumple a paper that says Kneeputer

What is the difference between a Mexican and a book?

A book has papers.

Iraq Jokes More Iraq Jokes

What's harder to pull out of than Iraq?

Bristol Palin.

Where did Saddam Hussein keep all of his CDs?

In Iraq.

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

What do you get if you cross a Phyllis with a Christine?

A Philistine with two mommies...

What do you get if you cross a Mexican with an Irishman?

A redhead who can tan.

Faith Jokes More Faith Jokes

How do you make people lose faith in this sub?

This.

Why was Darth Vader upset when he heard George Michael will only play new songs at his concerts?

He found his lack of Faith disturbing.

Meme Jokes More Meme Jokes

Where did the memes make their last stand?

The Aylmao.

What do Germans look at on the internet?

Danke memes

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

What do you call a reptile that works as a detective?

An investigator.

What pick-up line works 100% of the time?

Does this smell like chloroform to you

Greek Jokes More Greek Jokes

Why did the young Greek boy run away from home?

He was not being reared right!

How do the Greek separate the men from the boys?

With a crow bar.

Black Jokes More Black Jokes

What's black &amp grey and also looks good on a cop?

The World Trade Center

How to you get rid of the dandelions on your lawn?

Paint one of them black the others will move away.