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Why is your January report card so bad?

Son: Well you know how it is. Things are always marked down after Christmas!

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What did one kangaroo say to the other kangaroo?

I don't know I don't speak kangaroo.

What's a orphans first words?

I don't know. But it sure as hell isn't mommy or daddy.

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What was the last thing that Columbus said to his sailors before getting on the ship?

Okay men, get on the ship.

Why did NBC add the Michael J. Fox Show to its line-up?

To shake things up on network tv.

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What's Tarzan's favourite Christmas song?

Jungle bells.

What did Stevie Wonder think when he got a cheese grater for Christmas?

That it was the most violent book he'd ever read.

Son Jokes More Son Jokes

Why's the couch smell like pee?

Flashback to me watching The Ring alone Me: *points at son* I think someone had another "accident."

What did the buffalo say to his boy before leaving for work?

Bye, son.

Mark Jokes More Mark Jokes

What's the difference between an Engineering student and an Arts student when tying their shoes?

The arts student gets a mark for it.

How do werewolves mark their territory?

Lycanthropee

January Jokes More January Jokes

What do you call authentic Italian wine harvested in January?

Genuwine.

Why do Russians celebrate Christmas on the 7th of January?

Cause eight reindeer and a sleigh are a lot quicker than 6 pigs and a stoneboat.